Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 30: Tyler

Tues. 12/30/08 • 7:28 P.M. EST

Everything went out the door the moment I heard Hayden tell that reporter our daughters name was McKaiden. I probably should have felt bad or something; I'm sure that her decision to do such a thing was more part of a coping mechanism for her than anything with malintent. It's only going to push us further into the pile of shit we've landed ourselves in though! How the hell do we explain that to the Golds? What the hell was she thinking?

I push open the bedroom door in our suite to find her laying on the bed mindlessly scrolling on her phone. Startled by my sudden opening of the door, she snaps her head toward me with her eyes wide.

"Ty! You scared me!" she gasps, locking her phone and quickly pulling herself from the bed. "I'm sorry about what happened, Ty! You weren't-"

"McKaiden?" I ask, cutting her off. "Why the hell did you say that, Hayden? What the hell are you going to tell your mother? Your sisters? That you don't know your own daughter's name?"

She looks surprised to find that what happened between her and Gage is not my main concern right now. I would be too if I didn't know myself well enough to realize that brushing shit under the rug is just a habit I can't seem to overcome. "I- I... I want to change her name, I think..." she mumbles, shrugging her shoulders as if the idea was normal. She adverts her gaze for a second before returning it to me.

I can't help a look of astonishment from covering my face. She wants to change our surviving daughter's name to that of her deceased twin sister? "What?" I spit, shaking my head as I try to wrap my head around her logic. I know this whole thing has been hard for her, losing McKaiden and all... but this can not be healthy. Maybe we should talk to the Golds about what actually happened the day Hayden gave birth... "Are you okay Hayden? Seriously."

Hayden's brows furrow as if I asked a stupid question. "Yes, I'm okay!" she snaps. "Are you okay?"

All of my frustrations, from today, from the past 4 months, from life in general seem to burst from my seams the moment she asks that. My jaw drops for a moment before I hear my voice booming through the room. "No I'm not oh fucking kay!" I yell, raising my hands to my head to keep it from physically bursting. "You've barely been out of the hospital a fucking a week, yet have managed to let me know you don't even want to be with me after everything I've done for you! You got drunk and fucked my fucking brother last night, and then lied about it to my god damned face! You let some random chick up in our suite without offering any information as to why I should even trust her or her intentions, and now I find out you told the fucking world our daughter's name was McKaiden, which mind you, is her dead sister! How the fuck do you expect me to be okay?!"

Hayden doesn't know how to react. She wears a look of hurt and surprise. I don't know what else to do besides standing here panting and waiting for her to say something. There is a long and tense silence between us for what seems like minutes before a small voice behind me breaks it.

"Random chick? No-" it says. It's the girl from earlier- Evelyn? I had no idea she was still fucking here, yet she stands behind me outside of the bedroom door I left wide open when I came in. Great. It's already apparent she heard some, if not all of my rant. She crosses her arms over her chest and glances from Hayden, to me. "Chick to be trusted? After that very loud and very informative little fit you just had there- you'd better hope!"

What the fuck?

My jaw drops as my eyes find Hayden, this time questioning how I'm supposed to react to this girl barging in on us like that rather than with the anger I just glared at her with moments ago. She looks just as surprised as I feel, but not the least bit concerned.

"What happened to her, Jena?" the girl asks after a couple of awkward seconds.

I have no idea what to fucking do right now. I'm literally frozen in shock over what's taking place right now. Is Hayden really just going to let this chick stand here while we talk about this? It's clear the girl was a part of her life before "Hayden" was a thing, but damn! You can't just go around trusting people with the kind of information I just spewed when you're a fucking celebrity...

"Uhm- should we..." I start to say, but Hayden is responding to the girl before I have a chance to finish.

"She didn't make it, Ev- just... drop it," Hayden says with a slight urgency finding it's way to her voice.

Evelyn's jaw falls open and her eyes widen before welling with tears. Hayden looks uncomfortable but the ghost of guilt crosses her face.

"How?" Evelyn asks, her arms crossing over her chest as she wipes a couple of tears that instantly began to run down her cheeks. It's weird- despite her visible sadness she looks very... angry. Her jaw clenches for a moment before she continues. "Was it-"

Hayden yells to interrupt her. "Yes!" she says in exasperation. "Just drop it Ev, please!"

I swear I see Hayden, staring at Evelyn, flash her eyes towards me as if to tell the girl not to talk about it in front of me. Evelyn glances at me too before letting out a deep sigh, wiping her eyes, and stomping off down the hallway.

What the fuck?

"I stayed with her for a while while I was pregnant in Pennsylvania..." Hayden turns to me and says as if she sensed the millions of questions that start to pile up on my tongue.

A million questions, and I get an answer to one.

"She knew about the twins..." I mumble as the realization hits me and what seems like a million more pile up. My brows furrow in confusion as I turn to Hayden. "How did she know about the twins? You said... you said you were expecting one?"

Hayden's face goes pale but she clears her throat and quickly responds. "The mass from the ultrasound," she says, her voice trying to mask how defensive she sounds beneath it. "I told her about the mass and she was excited about the twin thing. Why are you questioning this like that? We were in the middle of somethin-"

It just doesn't seem right. It was clear in their interaction that Hayden is once again keeping something from me that Evelyn must be aware of. Even if that didn't make it clear, the weird reaction she gave upon finding out about the death would have given it away. I'm not the fucking fool Hayden takes me for!

"How did she know it was a girl then?" I interrupt her to ask. "You didn't know what 'the mass' would be. You literally said you had no clue you were having the twins when you went into labor."

Hayden's brows furrow now. She grows slightly angered at my questioning before letting out a deep breath and shaking her head. I can't fathom why she would be trying to keep shit from me involving my own child right now. "I don't fucking know, Ty!" she snaps. "Are we going to talk about us at all or do you want to fixate on weird shit? Because I thought you wanted to fix us, and this isn't helping."

I'm having a hard time believing the words that slowly make their way from my mind to my mouth. They're conflicting with what my heart says, but that guy is too damaged to trust anymore, right? I can't take this shit. I can't.

It's barely been a week since she's been back in my life and everything is already crumbling down between and around us. I thought the time she spent in the hospital would be good for her, I really did... but maybe the issue is just us.

"Hayden... I don't want to fix this right now, honestly," the words, heavy in truth, finally come out. "-Any time soon either! I- we need to take a break. You're just... out of control. I don't even know how to keep up with you anymore..."