Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 2: Hayden

Wednesday, 5:03 P.M. PST

The question has been trying to force itself back into my mind since the moment Ty showed up at Mama Gold's and the baby was brought over to me.

I can't let it in. I can not let it in if I want to be normal with this baby.

Based on the way everybody has been staring at me and the baby with googly eyes, as if we alone were tonight's entertainment, I have to be normal with this baby. They probably wouldn't even have taken me back as Hayden if it weren't for her... and definitely not if they knew about the other. 

"She isn't usually this calm with anyone," Ty leans in from beside me to whisper in my ear over the clamor of the rapidly filling house. "Were you worried she wouldn't remember you?"

I'm thankful Ty has been mostly normal with me. It's been a little comforting not to be completely alone over here with this baby. Yeah, there's an elephant sitting on top of us, but I was honestly expecting worse when I anticipated finally seeing him today. 

I didn't let him come visit me while I was in Miermont, I wouldn't talk to him on the phone, I wouldn't even send Mama Gold or Harper home with a message for him... 

I don't deserve for him to be so... loving toward me. 

"Not really..." I answer honestly after a moment, though knowing Ty won't fully understand my response. I wasn't nervous that she wouldn't remember me because I wasn't anticipating holding this baby.
 
He lets out a small laugh, reaching over to brush his giant finger against the tiny baby's cheek. I can already tell that he loves her so much. 

He was probably devastated when they told him there was nothing they could do to save her sister, and that essentially, I had killed her. It wasn't the truth, but how much better could it have been if he'd known the actual truth? 

Dane, my crazy ex, killed "our baby."

This one...? There's just... something unsettling about her.  And there's got to be a reason Dane kept her alive...

Ty is just about to say something, but Mama Gold's voice breaks through all the noise filling the house as she calls out for us. 

"Hayden! Ty!" she yells from across the large family room. "Come! Bring baby Madison so she can meet her second cousin! They're almost the same age!"

Madison. 

My heart pangs in my chest, but this isn't the time or place... I'm supposed to be okay. I'm supposed to be... normal. 

It's too late.

I'm back, revisiting the day of the twins' birth in my head. I woke up, and Ty told me there were two babies; I had only planned for one. 

McKaiden.

I got to see them though; It was only for all of three minutes, but it was long enough for me to know their names. McKaiden, and Madison. It was just... so right. 

Now, though? Everything about it seems wrong. Everything about it makes me feel wrong...