Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 17: Gage

Mon. 12/29/08 • 8:31 P.M. EST

This isn't how I wanted this to turn out. I knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but I wasn't quite expecting Hayden to react so openly angered by the fact that I'm dating somebody either. 

"What the fuck, Gage?" she hisses as soon as we make it over to the hallway holding all three of the bathrooms. A few people brush past us, so she's quick to keep her volume low as she continues. "First, you don't even hit me up knowing I got back from the hospital. Then you spring the fact that you're dating some airhead model in my face and request that that we all hangout knowing dammed well I have no interest in doing so. And now you want to tell me you brought your sad excuse of a distraction around my child?! Are you trying to, what? Get me back for something?!"

I don't know how to respond to any of that... She's saying all of this as if I specifically sought Jordan out as a means to get over the fact that she didn't want to be with me. It didn't even happen like that. 

Well... not exactly like that. 

"You're overreacting..." I mutter, uncertain of anything else to say until the words are already pouring from my lips. "Did I miss something? Are we even together for you to be tripping out about the fact that I'm seeing another female? Because last I knew, you were with my fucking brother." 

I regret saying it the moment I have a chance to anticipate her response. Hayden has, and always will be a fiesty little thing. I've learned from past experience that there's no winning when it comes to arguments with her. 

"That's not the fucking point, Gage!" she practically screams at me, drawing the attention of a couple of people exiting the bathrooms.

I can't help but grow flustered with it; We're not really in a place where we should be talking like this out in the open. I can already imagine the stories that'd come out tomorrow about us. In a quick motion, I step back to knock three times on the family bathroom door. I listen for a response, receiving none. Grasping Hayden's wrist, I swing open the door and pull her inside before she can continue. I make sure nobody is paying any attention to us before gently pushing the door shut with a sigh. 

"You don't just introduce some female to my baby while I'm away at a fucking hospital, Gage!" she hisses, lowering her voice upon realizing why I had to pull us in here. "Especially some chick you picked up just to try to prove something to yourself! Or me- shit, I don't know!" 

Part of me feels like a puppy with its tail between his legs because it knows she's right about my reason for hooking up with Jordan. I was trying to forget Hayden... move on because she made it clear time and time again that she couldn't leave my brother for me. She'd rather me sit here and wait for any scraps he accidently drops my way because despite everything- she does fucking love me. Another part of me is furious though. How could she expect that of me? Why can't she just be happy for me like any other regular sister-in-law of sorts? 

Why did things have to play out like this?

"Don't talk about Jordan like that Hayden... you don't even know her," I say after a moment. "She's a really nice fucking girl, and you know nothing about how or why we're together."

Hayden looks amused behind her frustrations with my response. She let's out a condescending laugh before nodding her head with a shrug of her shoulders. She refocuses her eyes on the baby changing table as she assumingly contemplates her response. 

"Okay," she says, acting as if my words sink in for a moment before crossing her arms over her chest and turning back to face me. "So this has nothing to do with me? You're just... over me completely? Moved on to the next?" 

Her words make me want to laugh, but I know better than that with her. She wants to pretend she pulled me away from our double date to scold me for introducing my girlfriend to her baby, but the only thing she keeps bringing up is my supposed rebound. 

"I thought that's not what this was about?" I ask, crossing my own arms over my chest as I fix her with the same expectant glare she shoots me. 

Hayden hates to be challenged like this, especially when it's me doing the challenging, I'm sure. I don't usually do anything other than bend to her every will, but I have no fucking idea what she expects from me right now! 

"What do you want from me, Hayden?" I snap before she can get any words from her mouth. I can't help myself; I can see the rage bubbling up inside of her, and can't handle whatever snide remark or jealousy themed response that she could fathom right now. "I apologized for introducing Jordan to your baby already! I swear to you, Madi is not going to remember the interaction!" 

Hayden can't find any words. I'm sure she's starting to realize how utterly ridiculous all of this was, and reeling herself back in because she knows I'm not down for the bullshit right now. She let's out a small laugh, resigned but still only slightly hiding her anger. 

I wish we didn't have to reunite like this... despite not having hit her up since she got out of the hospital, of course I missed Hayden... I've missed Hayden so much more than I should! That's why it was so important for me to get this over with. 

I need to move on. I may not want to, but I need to. And she needs to know that I am too. 

"What do I want from you?" she asks after a moment, her face twisted up in disbelief before she follows up. "No- what do you want from me, Gage?! Don't even play some sort of victim here! You know how I feel about you, and try to bring some bitch around to make me jealous!? Clearly you have an end goal here! What? You want me to leave Ty for you? Live happily ever after while we raise your fucking niece?! Get real, Gage! I'm fucked the hell up, and that's wrong even in my books!"

Hayden scoffs before turning around on her heel, and heading back toward the bathroom door. Part of me wants her to leave; I don't have the time or energy to fight this battle right now while Jordan and Ty wait for us at the table. The part of me that can't let her go though physically cannot let her go. I reach where she stands grasping the doorknob in two steps, using her wrist once again to spin her body back around toward mine. 

"Hayden, you've known what I wanted all along. Even before you started hooking up with Ty!" I say between gritted teeth, unable to hold back the anger her accusing me of playing victim had brought on. I release her wrist before continuing, accepting that it's probably better she leave after what I'm about to say next. "-But you just wanted to toy around with me like a game of cat and fucking mouse! Leading me on to dead end after dead fucking end! You did this to me, and have the audacity to get mad when I force myself to move on and stop playing games with you! We've almost slept together, for fuck's sake! You should leave my brother, Hayden! But not even for me! You don't stay with somebody when you obviously feel the need to fuck around on them behind their backs!" 

I expect her brows to furrow, but she just let's out another scoff before brushing herself off as if to make sure she's presentable to return to the table. "I'm going to deal with you later, Mr. Robson," she says, her tone suddenly absent of snark, and full of confidence. She flashes me a quick smile before returning her hand to the doorknob. "We've resolved our issue with your introducing your girlfriend to my child... so I expect we can resume dinner as usual?"