Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 28: Hayden

Tues. 12/30/08 • 1:42 P.M. EST

Rob looks like he's seen a ghost when he pulls open his apartment door. Considering what Ev told me happened to Sierra, my apparent look alike, it doesn't surprise me. He stands there, his glazed over and sunken in eyes wide and mouth agape in bewilderment. For a few moments I don't know what to say.

Rob saves me the trouble of having to say anything when he let's out a sigh. "No," he says, rolling his eyes as he attempts to shut his apartment door. "Get out of here. I'm not doing this again!"

That's all it takes for every voice in my head to suddenly have plenty to say, ranging from questioning who he thinks he is talking to me like that, to how he could even fathom pushing me away after everything we've been through. Instead of allowing myself to get upset with him though, I take a deep breath and shove a smile on my face as I intercept his attempt to close the door.

"What the hell are you doing here, Jen?! We got you the fuck out!" Rob growls before I have a chance to plead my case to him. He grabs the arm I use to keep him from shutting the door, but I still put up a fight. "You weren't supposed to come back! Don't you fucking care about anyth-"

I cut him off when my eyes fall on the bare skin of the arm he grabs mine with; It's full of track marks, new and old. "Oh wow..." I say, pulling my arm from his and shifting my weight to one leg. "That's what you choose to do when Dane leaves town? He's going to kill you for getting into that shit when he comes back! What is it? H? Speed? Real nice, Rob." I cross my arms over my chest.

Rob rolls his eyes, disregarding my question just as I suspected he would. He grabs a sweat jacket from the coat hook on the back of his door before swinging it open with an annoyed sigh and making his way into his livingroom. I follow, shutting and locking his front door behind me.

Well, Rob has really let himself go since Dane left, huh? I think to myself as I step into his apartment and scope out the livingroom. It's a friggen mess in here! Take-out containers and beer bottles form a large mountain in the kitchen that spills over into his livingroom; Empty baggies and cigarette butts lay splayed out all over his carpet; Fist sized holes are punched in on his livingroom walls.

"Yo, what happened to you?" I sneer in a moment of feeling completely overwhelmed with disgust. I'm not stranger to bad housekeeping; As a child, I was taken away from my mother because she was too busy shooting up to be bothered with it! We lived in pretty bad conditions, I can't deny that. But for Rob to be living like this? And seemingly without a care in the world about it? Something is going on with him! "It's disgusting in here, Rob! You can't live like this!"

I'm sure Rob knew that was the reaction I was going to have when he resigned to letting me come in. He turns his head away from his TV to look at me with his brows flat and unimpressed. "I can, and have been," he says, rolling his eyes to transition his gaze back to the TV.

I'm surprised that I didn't realize he was using based off the way he looks; It's the only thing I can see now, and it's pulling at something in my mind that I can't quite put my finger on. He looks pathetic: His hair and facial hair, usually trimmed and shaped, is overgrown and greasy; You can physically see, and smell that he hasn't bathed or changed clothes in at least two weeks; He's lost weight, and you can see his sunken in cheeks through his scruffy and overgrown beard. 

Maybe this is why Evelyn didn't want me to come see him...

"Rob, you need to get up and get your shit together!" I blurt, suddenly making my way over to where he sits slumped in his couch. I grab his arm and attempt to yank him from the couch with no success. "I don't want to see you like this! It- It's sad! Come on! Let me help you clean up a little or something..."

He yanks his arm away from me and shoots me a dirty look. "Nobody asked you to come see me at all," he sneers, anger hiding in his words. "Stop trying to beat around the bush, Jen- What are you doing here? What do you want? Surely you didn't bring Hayden to this shit hole of a complex to play mommy with me; You've got real children who need those skills, don't you?"

Rob doesn't know about McKaiden... I can't bring myself to mention it... not right now. He doesn't seem like he could handle news like that.

"I just wanted to check on you, Rob! Damn!" I exclaim, crossing my arms over my chest and furrowing my brows. "I'm taking Ev to California for a while, I guess... She wanted to grab a few things."

I expect Rob to give me the exact look he does; He furrows his brows with his face twisted up in confusion. "You're taking Ev to California? To what? Be Hayden's little hype girl or something?" he asks, letting out a patronizing chuckle. "You know she's using again, right? You're going to bring this shit around my children? Your children? After everything we did to get you guys out of this shit? Real nice, Jen. I shouldn't have expecting anything more of you."

My mind splits off into so many different directions at once that it takes me a moment to get it together and process his words. "No she's... not..." I say, trailing off for a second as puzzle pieces start to connect in my head. I wish I could take my words back after I say them because it's completely plausible that Evelyn is using again, and I just made myself look stupid.

Rob laughs as if to read my thoughts. "She is," he says matter of factly. "She brings the shit, we do the shit... as recently as this morning. So, yeah... Way to make everything we did to save you and those babies a complete waste! I kind of expected it after a while, when you weren't around to scramble my brain. Good thing I prepared for the disappointment already!" 

He gets up, brushing me out of his way to stomp to the kitchen and swing open the fridge. The oversized pile of trash shifts as the door swings open, and he grabs another beer.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Evelyn is trying to pull something over on me. Well... Is she trying to pull something over on me? She asked for my help... maybe this is her attempt to get clean? I don't know- but I can't help the motherly part of me from being upset about it. 

"So what do you want, Jen?" Rob asks, emerging from the kitchen with a beer in his hands. He pauses to chug the bottle before continuing. "Are the babies okay? You don't need to show up on my doorstep to help Ev grab a few things. So what's going on? I don't have time for this; I've got shit to do." 

I'm not used to Rob being so cold toward me. Ever since he and I started hooking up, he's been so... easy-going and nice. Asshole Rob was a thing of the past! My automatic response is to channel Jena's monster; She has no problem handling men with an attitude. I can't bring myself to do it though. 

"I- I told you! I just wanted to check on you!" I stammer, watching as he places his empty bottle of beer on his entertainment center among a slew of others. I want to say more, but he cuts me off with a loud sigh. 

"Well, you've done it!" he says in exasperation as he throws his arms up before allowing them to slam back down on his thighs. "You checked! I'm here, still alive! Just hoping my fucking babies are going to be okay after the shit storm you're about to drag them through! Hey- but who cares about that, right? It's not like anybody had to risk their lives for their existence! It's not like innocent people died for them! And most importantly, it's not like you fucking care! Now, is that all? Because I'd really like to be left alone."