Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 76: Hayden

Mon. 3/16/09 • 3:47 P.M. PST
Two days later...

I sit on the grass green chaise lounge chair lining the edge of the pool Harper and I share in our backyard. It's the first time I've seen her since her surprise party and I can't help but feel anxious. 

"I can't believe we actually have the time together! We've both been so busy!" I tell her, trying to break the ice our casual conversation has brought between us.

She texted me a couple of hours ago asking if I wanted to have a late lunch with her outback. It sounded like a set up honestly, but I know Harper wouldn't do something like that to me and agreed to it. 

Plus, I don't really have anything to hide from her. 

I only haven't told her about Russell yet because we haven't been talking like that, and she already knows about Evelyn! 

"You've been so busy, Miss Popular!" she exclaims as she lowers herself on the chair beside me and reaches her arms out for McKaiden. I carefully hand her the squirmy baby before she continues. "I'm actually surprised you could meet me with me today! Isn't it Gage and Tyler's birthday? I thought you'd be spending the day with him and the baby!"

Oh crap! It is their birthday, isn't it?

"Damn, I forgot..." I say, my brows raised as the realization settles in. "I should probably text him... Let him know McKaiden says Happy Birthday or something." 

Harper let's out a loud laugh as she gently bounces McKaiden on her knee. "Forgot?" she asks, eyes wide as if not believe me. "You forgot Tyler's birthday, Hayden? How could that even be possible?"

I don't know why she finds this so funny and unbelievable. I'd need a reminder set for Tyler's birthday even if we were still together! I've always been terrible with dates.

"I told you we were taking a break!" I say, forcing a laugh despite the guilty feeling she causes to rise in my chest. If she expects me to have remembered, does Ty? What was I supposed to do? ... Get him something? "I didn't know you were still supposed to make such a big deal about birthdays if you weren't together! Plus... I've kind of already starting seeing somebody else..."

Harper's laughter falters off after a second, and her brows furrow together in confusion. I'm sure she's wondering why I haven't told her about the new guy yet, possibly feeling offended over it. 

"-I wasn't intentionally keeping him from you or anything!" I quickly add, sitting myself up further on the lounge chair. "It just... happened kind of fast, and things got super busy with my schedule, and I wanted to know it was right before-"

Harper inturrupts me, her eyes wide despite the confusion still written on her face. "Y- you're seeing somebody else and still sleeping with Tyler?" she asks, a disapproving tone in her voice although she tries to seem nonchalant about it. "Do they know about eachother? Who's the guy anyway? Sheesh! You're supposed to talk to me Hayden! These are the kinds of things I can help you with!"

I laugh at her assumption that I am still sleeping with Ty. I know I've had some problems with my sexual urges in the past, but I've been doing so great since being with Russell! Harper may not be too fond of the idea that I've moved on so quickly, but I know she'll love to hear how good it's done for me!

"His name is Russell, I met him... last year, technically!" I exclaim after a second, not even bothering to explain that by 'last year,' I mean a few hours before New Years. I feel my body perk up as the butterflies he gives me flood my stomach. "I really like him, Harper... I think you will too! And mom! He's been super good for me; I haven't had any urges or anything since getting with him! I've been... in a really good place!"

Harper readjusts McKaiden on her lap, her confused expression unchanging. "Russell? ...What's he do?" she asks, her brow raised in skepticism. "And where does Tyler fit into all of this? I- I don't get it..."

What is her deal with Ty?! What doesn't she get about the fact that we're separated? 

"He doesn't!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "Why are you so hung up on him? We've been separated for like, three months, Harp! I see him to switch off baby duty, that's all! We're not talking, we're not sleeping together, we're just... co-parenting!"

Harper's mouth falls slightly agape. She looks as if she's trying to put a puzzle together with a missing piece. "W-what?" she mumbles after a second, her brows turned up in puzzlement. "How- how are you two not sleeping together if- ...oh... oh no..." Her jaw drops again, eyes wide as she turns back to me.

What the hell? 

A weird feeling is quick to find it's way to my stomach. Something about the look on Harper's face is unsettling... She knows something I don't, and it's obviously something bad. 

"What?!" I spit, my eyes growing wide now too. "What's going on? Why are you-" 

Harper cuts me off, hushing me while she drags McKaiden's walker over and transfers her into it. Her eyes still wide, she turns back to me. "Hayden... I thought you were pregnant again, with Ty's baby..." she says, quickly following up. "I heard him talking about it on the phone when he was dropping Kaidy off! That's when I texted you about your period... didn't know... I thought... still together..." 

Her words fade in and out as I try to wrap my mind around what I just heard. 

Pregnant with Tyler's baby?

I remember her texting me about being late the other day... I assumed it was because amenorrhea is a consequence some girls with eating disorders experience, not because she... heard Tyler talking about it?

Why would he do that? We haven't been together in months; He's delusional if he thinks I'm pregnant with his kid! 

"I haven't even been with him in months," I murmur. "I don't underst-"

Harper cuts me off. "He said 'we just had a baby,' or something like that, Hayden..." she tells me, her voice growing a bit reluctant as she connects the dots for me. "If he wasn't talking to you on the phone... there's only one other person it could be..." 

... Oh... Sophie?

Tyler... got back with Sophie? No- not even just got back with her; He knocked her the fuck up again? After a couple fucking months?! 

My chest feels tight. He's moved on that fast? Moved on that far? Would he really do that to me?

Have you really done him any better? I hear in the back of my mind as soon as the question crosses it. 

"Are you okay?" Harper suddenly asks, her concerned eyes burning into me. "I- I'm sorry to have brought it up like that, but... it's okay, isn't it? I mean, it's a little messed up, I guess, but... you moved on too? You're okay, right?"

No... I should be, but I'm not.  

The earthquake in my head threatens to crumble some of the walls I've built these past few months. I know Tyler and I were separated, and that I've been seeing someone else too, but I still can't help but feel some type of way about this! 

"I- ... I'm okay," I stil l lie to Harper, forcing a small smile across my lips. I shrug my shoulders in an attempt to mask the whirlwind of emotions I feel from surfacing. "That's just... crazy, is all. It- it's a bit of a shock..."

Harper let's out a sigh and agrees with me, immediately going on about what she heard him talking about. 

I don't want to listen; I couldn't if I tried. Jena screams obscenities over all of the other voices trying to make themselves heard. My heart pounds, and head throbs with each yell. I feel her pounding on my brain! I don't know what to think, do, or say.

She hasn't acted like this in a while...