Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 27: Hayden

Tues. 12/30/08 • 1:34 P.M. EST

By the time I calmed Evelyn down, Hayden was completely checked out from having to deal with the dirty reality of Jena's dark life. It didn't take long before Jena agreed to bring Evelyn to California with her against the wishes of what little left of Hayden there is in my mind. The decision to accompany Ev in "going to pick up a few things from home" came shortly after that. And then there was the decision on whether or not I'd even leave the taxi we'd called once we got to Creekside instead of waiting in it like Hayden tried to advise me before her whispered voice went silent.

I've never been good with decisions; It's like there's a magnetic attraction between me and all the wrong ones. Of course I got out of the car.

"Is your shit at Dane's?" I ask Ev as we rush across the parking lot. There's a lot of people living their lives out here: Children chasing each other down the long sidewalks, teens trying to hide the fact that they're either dealing or buying drugs, adults miserably rushing either to or from their apartment buildings... It's so familiar, yet so insane when I think about how vulnerable that makes Hayden. I can't imagine what Ty or the Golds would do if they found out I was here.

She nods her head, trekking in front of me up the small hill leading to Dane's apartment building. A pit forms in my belly being so close to it. The only thing settling me is the fact that Ev said he's been missing for a while now. What would be the chances of him returning today? "You coming in?" she asks, reaching the door to the building hallway before turning around to see me slowing my pace.

I feel the magnetic attraction before I even know what decion it is that I'm about to make.

"Uhm... how long is it going to take for you to pack up a few things?" I ask, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly as the decision becomes clear in my mind. Ev probably already knows what I'm about to get at. "You don't have to bring a lot... I have a pretty decent allowance, so we could go shopping or something. But I'm sure you have to go through some things, so-"

Evelyn narrows her eyes at me. "You're going to see if Rob is home, aren't you?" she asks, her voice lowering while we're so close to Dane's apartment an automatic response. She let's out a sigh, releasing the handle of the apartment building door with an eye roll before making her way over to me. "I don't think you should, Jena... He isn't handling the whole Sierra thing all too well either. I mean... Dane could have shot him that day too... and he was prepared to take that for you and those babies! That changes people..."

I can't help but check my surroundings as the words escape her lips. I guess you can never be too cautious when you're in Dane territory... even if he isn't around.

"Why would that mean he shouldn't see me?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at her as if to be confused. The truth is, I know exactly why she thinks he shouldn't see me; I'm trouble. Evelyn has been sick of cleaning up after me since her "boyfriend" T had to take the fall for it. I'm sure having to arrange the death of her "friend" to cover for me was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Evelyn adverts her gaze from me, her body language reading uncomfortable as she kicks a stone into the grass beside us. "You were never supposed to come back here, Jena... He didn't want everything we did to be for nothing. You were supposed to just take the babies... and go," she says, raising her eyes to mine with a sense of guilt flashing through them. "He's already so dead inside... seeing you back here though? That'd probably send him off the deep end! I know I shouldn't have sought you out... or asked you to come help me pack, but I need to get out of here, Jena! And I thought... I thought if I didn't bring you with me to pack, you might've changed your mind about letting me go with you..."

There's so many things for me to process in her response. I don't process anything other than Ev saying that Rob is "dead inside" though. "What do you mean, dead inside? He's always been dead inside; It' s basically in the 'bitch boy' job description!" I say with a small laugh, playing it off to Ev despite the ache it causes in my chest. Does he know about McKaiden? Was everything they did for nothing when the baby he thought he was saving didn't make it? I brush past the thoughts unwilling to let my mind settle on them too long. "He's just mopey because daddy Dane left. Puppies never know what to do when their owners leave them unattended."

I don't have to tell Evelyn I'm still going to see Rob, despite her warning, for her to know. Ev and I have been hanging out way too long for her not to recognize the dynamics of our relationship. I do what I have to do no matter who, including different parts of myself, object to it. She let's out a sigh before rolling her eyes and turning away from me back towards Dane's apartment. "You have to meet me back here, I'm not going to come looking for you!" she calls out over her shoulder, her tone insinuating that doing so would be a dumb idea on her part considering what she thinks my intentions on seeing him today are. She thinks I'm going to squeeze a quicky in. "I'm going to be quick! Don't be too long, Jena! Seriously! We're not staying!"