Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 81: Hayden

Tues. 3/17/09 • 11:00 A.M. PST

It's only a two hour trip to L'Horizon Resort and Spa in Palm Spring, a hotspot that I surprisingly have never been to for all of the times that I've been to that city. I usually love small road trips spent with good company, but find myself more anxious today than anything else.

There's an odd feeling in my stomach I can't seem to shake off, and I have no idea where it's coming from. Is it still my guilt from what I'd done yesterday with Gage kicking in? Is it the general anxiety I feel leaving my baby with a sitter as a new mother? Is it the negative feeling knowing about Ty and Sophie? Is something bad going to happen?!

I can't put my finger on it, so I try to tell myself it's all in my head. I need this vacation. I don't want anything getting in the way of these last couple of days I'll have with Russ...

Especially a feeling I can't even find the root of.

"I'm going to grab some gas before we hit the highway," Russ says suddenly as he slows my truck to approach a Chevron. It's honestly the most he's said to me since we left my house. He's seemed on edge since we got in the car. "You need anything? Thirsty? Hungry?"

I shake my head, my guilty concious easily questioning whether or not he'd found out what I did with Gage already and is upset with me. Why else would he be acting like this? He's been so excited about this trip since booking it last night! Now all of the sudden he's miserable?

"A- are you upset with me?" I ask as he pulls up to a pump and starts unbuckling his seat belt. I turn to the driver's seat to face him, my brows turned up in concern as I anxiously await his response.

He also raises his brows, his mouth dropping slightly agape before he let's out what seems to be a nervous laugh. "No, beautiful! No!" he exclaims, grabbing his smart phone from the cupholder between us and opening his door. "I'm just- I'm focused on getting us where we need to be, is all. Six hours is no easy drive, you know!"

Russ winks immediately after his words, hopping out of the truck and slamming the door shut before I have a chance to say anything. He practically jogs into the gas station to pay, his bun bouncing rhythemically on his head as he does.

Six hours? I'm pretty sure he said two earlier, not to mention I know how long it takes! So why would he say six now?

Is he trying to surprise me with a trip somewhere else? Was the L'Horizon just a ruse to distract me from bigger plans? I rack my mind for what I may have just caught onto, but settle on the fact that he probably just messed up his words when saying six hours instead of two.

There's no way he would lie about how far away we are going knowing that two hours was already pushing it. I'm supposed to be able to get home in a timely fashion if need be!

Russ exits the gas station after a few minutes, a few water bottles dangling in a bag from his arm. I watch through the side view mirror as he jogs back to the truck, places his phone on top of the gas pump, and removes the nozzle to start pumping gas.

I can't believe I ruined what I had with him. Everything was perfect; Our relationship was helping me be better for Hayden, and I threw it all away because I couldn't handle to hear that Tyler went back to Sophie.

I ruined it over Tyler...

It doesn't take too long before he fills the tank. I still watch in the mirror as he replaces the nozzle and starts to make his way back around the truck.

"I got these for you, beautiful," he tells me as he opens the driver's side door and hands me the bag with the water. He climbs into the truck, shutting the door behind him and switching it into drive. "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I figured we all need a little water here and there, what the hell!"