Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 25: Tyler

Tues. 12/30/08 • 9:13 A.M. EST

"I'm so sorry, bro... I was stupid. I- I was thinking with my dick!" Gage says through the phone. "I know I fucked up, okay? That's why I'm coming to you... Do what you have to do about it. You want to fuck me up? Do it. I'm in New York until 11:45, where do you want to meet? That's how sorry I am, man..."

He waits for me to respond, but I can't. What the fuck am I supposed to say right now? My fucking brother just called me at 9 o'clock in the fucking morning to tell me he fucked my goddamned girlfriend last night!

"Ty! Say something!" Gage pleads when I fail to respond to him. "You- you told me to be honest about this shit when we spoke about my relationship with Hayden! I'm trying to do the right thing! I know I shouldn't have... done that with her. I was drunk, bro! She was drunk!" 

It makes sense. After everything that went down yesterday, I was kind of expecting her to jump his bone. It doesn't make this any easier to process though; I'm still just a fucking tumultuous storm of emotions waiting for the right time to explode. I'm mad at Gage, I'm pissed at Hayden, and I'm fucking furious with myself! If they had sex, that means it was after the argument I had with Hayden when I stormed out of the suite to get some fresh air. I fucking knew she was looking to do some shady with with Gage because she fucking mistook me for him in the bathroom! This is just as much my fault as it is theirs, right? 

I should have put a fucking stop to that shit a long time ago. Instead, I told my fucking brother to pursue my girlfriend as long as he wasn't shady about it. Do I even have a right to be mad? He pursued her, alright! And though it was circumstanstially shady, he is trying not to be by telling me about it...

Ugh, I don't know where to have my head in this. 

Part of me wants to keep blaming myself, but the rest of me knows this is not my doing. Shit- aside from being a weak man, I can't even say this is Gage's doing! Every part of me knows that Hayden is completely behind this. 

He was just her latest victim. 

How the fuck could I be so stupid as to believe her when she said she hasn't fucked him? Is that all I am to her? A fucking fool?!

"I've got to... order this food," is the only thing I can bring myself to respond to him. I hang up the phone as he goes to say something else, and then mindlessly pick up the hotel phone to do just that. 

The conversation with Room Service is as mindless as my desicion to follow through with calling them in the first place. I order Hayden and her friend their food, and hang up the hotel phone with a sigh. 

I've got to get out of here. The moment silence engulfs the room, I can feel a slew of different emotions start to threaten expulsion from inside of me. I can't afford to get mad right now. Not while we're out here without any of the Golds to keep Hayden in check. We all know what happened last time...

As furious as I am with her, I need her to be a mother to our daughter. She won't accomplish that by running the fuck away to Pennsylvania.

I quickly repack what little of my belongings fell from my suitcase. How could Hayden expect me to sit here and share a suite with her after she screwed my twin brother? I can't do it! I don't even want to look at her right now! 

The universe, working against me as it usually does, sends Hayden rushing into the bedroom with me. She wears a look of panic across her face as she pushes the door back shut. "Was that Gage that called?" She asks, exasperation lining her voice. She glances at the two suitcases I stand repacking before turning back to me. "I dont even know what he's talking about, Ty! I-"

I don't want to hear her excuses right now; I've heard them all before. She didn't know what she was doing, she couldn't control herself, she didn't think I'd mind... I just can't do this right now.

"You fucked my brother, Hayden. It is what it is," I sigh, using the strength that I have left in my anxiety stricken muscles to hold my suitcase down while I zip it shut. I'm surprised at the lack of anger I'm experiencing right now; It's like my body just doesn't have the energy for it. "Honestly, it's my own fault. I knew what you were getting into last night, I just... I don't know. I had more faith in you than I should, I guess."

I don't even have to look at her to see all of the blood drain from her face. That's the reaction she always has when someone calls her out on her bullshit and she doesn't know how to respond. 

"I really didn't know-" she tries to say, cutting herself short when I look up to her with my brows flat and unimpressed. "I'm sorry, Ty! I thought it was y-"

"Hayden, please!" I sigh, inturrupting her. "I don't have the energy for any of this, okay? I ordered you and your friend the food you wanted... go hangout with her, please be safe, and... I don't know. We'll talk later, I guess. I don't have it in me to fight with you right now. I just... need some time to think about this. Alone."