Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 55: Tyler

Sat. 1/31/09 • 9:14 P.M. PST

Sophie is definitely more of a lightweight than she was back before she got pregnant. She used to be a Hollywood socialite, getting white girl wasted used to be her speciality. I'm pretty sure she used to get paid for it!

"I want to dance, do you want to dance?!" she squeals over the music blasting throughout her family room. "Come dance with me, Tylerrrrrrr!"

I've had a few drinks myself, but I'm not nearly as wasted as she seems to be. I feel good, but dancing is kind of a stretch for me right now. Especially considering her choice of song. "Forever" by Chris Brown isn't really my style. 

"I can't dance to this Soph!" I exclaim with a laugh. "You know that!"

She rolls her eyes and stumbles over to where her iPhone sit on a speaker. After a few moments a new, much slower but familiar song is blaring through her speakers. 

"Really?" I can't help but blurt after processing what the song is. I let out a few laughs, nervous and calm at the same time. "Elliot Yamin? Our old song?" 

Sophie's smile spreads ear to ear as she makes her way back to the center of her family room. She slowly begins swaying to the music, holding her arms out to me expectantly. 

"Is this more your style? I know you dance to this, Tyler!" she yells out to me with both nostalgia and pride lining her voice. "Now come dance with me! C'mon... come dance with your baby mama!"

I can't help from laughing as I let out a sigh and make my way over to her. I try to seem reluctant, rolling my eyes and pretending only to give in because she's insistant- but the truth us... it's kind of cute. 

She's kind of cute...

Sophie and I have had a rocky relationship, if you could call it that. It was never as serious to me as it always has been for her. She just... invested a lot more of her time and love in me than I had available for her. I know she loves me though. It's been showing a lot more as of lately...

As soon as I reach where she stands in the center of her family room, she practically falls into my arms.

"Oh, why did you have to go? You could have let me know... so now I'm alone..." she sings softly as we sway together, her arms around my shoulders and mine, around her waist. 

This feels good, but it's almost like I can't let myself fully acknowledge it. I know Hayden and I aren't together, but she still holds such a huge place in my heart. I feel like doing anything about how I feel right now with Sophie would be cheating on her...

"You could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance... with you not around, it's a little bit more than I can stand..." Sophie continues to sing, only faltering off when her altered state of mind causes her to forget some of the lyrics. She picks it back up quickly though, and with more diction in her voice than before. "Why did you turn awayyy?"

I don't know if I'm supposed to feel bad, but I do... I'm sure the only reason she is singing this song like this is because she feels some type of way about us. I didn't mean to hurt her or anything... I'll always have love for Sophie! She is the mother of my child! 

"My singing is obnoxious, huh?" She giggles after a few moments, turning up to face me with her eyes low and glassy. "I wasn't lying when I said I loved you though... I know you love her, but like... we can still do this whole thing together if you want...? I mean, I can accept the fact that she'll be in your life to some degree! And I mean, I love Madis- McKaiden! Whatever she's calling her nowadays..."

I don't know how to respond to her. I understand how she feels; things have been relatively comfortable for us these past few weeks. She probably feels a lot better raising our daughter together than apart, and like I said... I know she loves me.