Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 52: Tyler

Sat. 1/31/09 • 4:46 P.M. PST

Sophie pours herself a glass of one of her expensive wines before taking a sip and letting out a deep and frustrated sigh. "I just don't understand why she has to be like that! My God!" she vents as she shuffles a few of Lily's bottles to their drying rack. I sit at her kitchen island watching her. "She used to be so cool while I was a kid, but the moment I have my own it turns into a battlefeild?! Who does she think she is? Lily is my daughter. I know how to raise her!" 

Apparently there was a small argument at Sophie's father's place today while she was dropping Lily off for the night. Faye, Sophie's step-mother of 19 years, didn't agree with the brand of diapers Soph gets for Lily and criticized her parenting abilities. 

I've been hearing about it since I got back from a quick meeting with the band about 3 hours ago.

I know I don't particularly have to listen to her, acting as a system of support but... we've kind of been making it work as parents these past few weeks. Sure, I'm upset it's not me and Hayden, but... 

It's better than me drinking myself to death at my place.

"Don't worry about her, Soph," I tell her, offering a hug when she turns past the kitchen counter to face me. She makes her way over to where I sit on the stool and wraps her arms around me. "Lily is our daughter, not Faye's."

Whatever we have is working for us. It's the "15-years-after-marriage" type thing we have going on. We wake up, take care of the kid(s), work, take care of the kid(s), go to bed together.... it's not like we're having sex. 

It's not like we're developing any feelings for eachother again...

"Ugh, I know!" Sophie exclaims as she pulls away from me. Her light brown hair falls over her face before she throws her head back to clear it. "Let's get drunk tonight! Let's indulge! I finally feel like I can do that again- can we?!"

I can't help from laughing, though nervously. Sophie and I never had the kind of relationship I've had with Hayden. What Hayden and I had was unexpected. It was the kind of love I don't think either of us believed in, but we both fell into it- and hard. I can't help a tinge of that from forming in my stomach as I watch Sophie now though. 

I chalk it up to being a symptom of Hayden.

"We can do that if you want," I tell her. "What are you thinking? More wine? Vodka? Whiskey? Hell! You want beer? I'm down for it."

Sophie cracks a huge smile before finding her way back into my arms. I shouldn't want or like it; Sophie wants more than I am capable of giving her right now. I can't help myself though. 

"Hmm... dealers choice? You're going to have to go grab it. I purged my stock once I found out I was pregnant; It made me feel like I'd be a better mom!" she says with a laugh, lifting her head from my chest to look at me. She still has her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders. "Nothing too hard though! I'm sure I'm quite the lightweight after so long sober for Lils!"

I nod my head in agreement, my hands finding their way to her lower back. "I'll surprise you then," I tell her. "You want me to go grab it now?"

Sophie is silent for a few moments. She just stares up at me with a familiar smile, her eyes teetering on the edge of mine. 

These past few weeks staying with Sophie have been... great. I can't lie to myself about that anymore. It's not just a means to avoid Gage because of what happened with Hayden in New York; I've enjoyed being here with her. I don't want to believe it because believing it would mean that I'm over Hayden, and the truth is- I'm not! But there is a comfort with Sophie that I don't think I could feel with Hayden after everything we've been through. Even if I could, I don't think she'd be able to! 

"I love you, Tyler..." Sophie sighs after a second, her grip around me loosening though she doesn't let go. "Are you mad at me for it? You're so in love and dramatic about Hayden, I get it! But like... we have something. We had something before she came around..."

A knot forms in my chest. This is exactly what I've been trying to avoid with her; Any talk about something more serious that what we have. 

I rack my mind for how to handle her words, a nervous laugh escaping my mouth. I try to cover it with confidence. "How are you getting so sappy already? I haven't even gotten any liquor in you yet!" I laugh. 

She rolls her eyes, but the distraction seems to have worked. I silently sigh in relief. I'm not ready for that conversation. 

"Oh, shut up!" She laughs as she pulls away from me. She gently whacks my shoulder before turning around to grab her purse from the kitchen island across from us. "You know I'm not the sappy type! That's you. Ever since Hayden-"

She cuts herself off, pulling her wallet from her purse before turning back to me. "Oh- nevermind!" she sighs with another eye roll. She must sense how uncomfortable that topic makes me. She never fails to any other time. 

I don't want to think about Hayden any more than I have to in order to be a good father to my daughter. 

"Don't take too long, buddy boy," she says as she tries to hand me her card. I reject it, signaling to my own wallet instead. "And grab some food, too, please. Anything spicy. I'm in that kind of mood."