Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 65: Hayden

Sat. 2/14/09 • 9:58 P.M. PST

Dinner was really nice. 

Chef Tonda really went all out as far as setting a romantic tone for the night went; I'm kind of glad I had to ship Evelyn off to her room so I could enjoy it alone with Russ. I was worried I would have been a bit shaken up after hearing Ev talk to him about Dane earlier, but I guess I've gotten used to her childish bullshit. He didn't seem phased, but I get the vibe that he's never really cared for Evelyn in the first place. I don't blame him; She isn't the most pleasant person to be around anymore. 

I pull my pajama pants down and climb into my soft bed, letting out a satisfied sigh as I turn to Russell. "I promise the baby isn't always that easy to put to bed," I laugh as I roll over on my side. I spent 10 minutes telling him about the long process I have to go through every night to get her to bed, only for her to knock out almost immediately tonight. I'm thankful for it considering that it's Valentine's Day, but that little snot made me a liar! "She's a little handful already! Definitely takes after me!" I laugh. 

Russ laughs too, fluffing a pillow before gently tossing it back onto the bed. "She's a cutie, for sure! Definitely looks like you!" he exclaims with a smile as he climbs into the bed beside me. He turns on his side too so that we both lay facing eachother. "Not to bust your balls or anything, but I was worried she might've looked like the father. I was wondering how he'd translate into a female... I did it in my head a few times, and it did not go over well!" 

He winks, but I can't help a look of surprise from passing over my face. My initial reaction is to feel offended, but I am quick to move past it as another question floods my mind. "You know Ty?" I ask after a second. I've just always assumed that Russ was pretty out of the loop considering that he wasn't familiar with me; I've kind of been a big deal since Hayden hit mainstream. 

Russell laughs, rolling his eyes playfully. "I'm not very big into media that doesn't involve my job," he says matter of factly, continuing with a shrug of his shoulders. "But curiosity definitely killed the cat here... I had to google the guy special enough to father your child, afterall!"

I let out a laugh, but can't tell whether or not it's forced just to fill the silence my wandering mind leaves between us. I still don't know whether or not to be offended, but easily remind myself that this is Russ we are talking about. He's always been a smart ass, why wouldn't he be while talking about a guy he's clearly a bit jealous of? I shouldn't be offended, I should be flattered. 

"It's compliacted," I giggle, adverting my gaze as I contemplate just how complicated I can allow myself to explain it to be. "I- I made some pretty bad choices back then, and he was there for me. There for us- me and the baby."

Russ nods his head, growing more serious before he responds. I feel his eyes burning into me in curiosity, but he still takes a moment to gently lay his hand on my hip before continuing. "Bad choices?" he asks. "Like what?"

I can feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment. I've never told Russ about Jena, or the horrible things her monster has done in my past. Sometimes I feel like I can because there is definitely a strong sense of honesty and security between us, I guess I'm just waiting for the right time. 

Russ must notice how uncomfortable I've grown, because he lifts his hand up to my cheek to gently stroke it, his voice soft as he speaks. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, babygirl," he says scooting closer to me. "I just... I want to be there for you too..."

A warm feeling floods my stomach as an uncontrollable smile slowly spreads across my face. How does he make me feel so comfortable? He makes me want to tell him everything, there is just something about him that makes it feel right.