Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 100: Hayden

Wed. 3/18/09 • 11:54 A.M. PST

When my eyes snap open, I'm caught in a whirlwind of heavy breathing, racing thoughts, and utter confusion.

Where am I?

I squint through my eyelids trying to absorb my surroundings, but the moment I move the muscles in my face I'm met with the pain of what feels equivalent to running into a brick wall.

My eyes, though cloudy with sleep, quickly adjust to my foreign surroundings only to widen when I recognize where I am, and who I'm with. 

A hospital with Mama Gold...? Harper...? Harlee...? 

Why am I-

The question triggers a series of memories to flood from the depths of my mind. It doesn't take long at all to remember the nightmare turned reality that took place before I passed out...

Dane... He- he knows about Rob! 

I immediately panic as the thought settles in, but my current reality raises more questions than the panic does, and I'm left feeling... confused?

How am I alive after Dane found out about Rob? What happened last night after I lost conciousness? And most importantly, where is my daughter? 

"McKaiden..." I quickly say, my voice raspy and weak. I try to sit myself up but I'm connected to so many tubes and machines it's nearly impossible.

All three of the Golds snap their heads up to face me with looks of both relief and panic spread clear across their faces. 

"Hayden! You're awake!" Harper squeals, rushing over to the hospital bed I lay on. 

"No, no! Dont try to sit up, baby! Just relax!" Mama G follows suit after. 

Even Harlee scrambles over to me, her eyes wide in worry as she reaches the bed. "Are you okay, Hayden?" she asks, a small sense of panic in her voice. "Do you need me to call a nurse?"

It's all a lot to take in, but my mind still focuses in on the only thing it can think about right now. "Where is McKaiden?" I ask. "Is she okay?" 

All three of the Goldskateers nod their heads, eager to respond. "Uncle Gage came to grab her after we got her checked out and cleared for discharge! She's fine!" Mama G says, shrugging her shoulders. "We uh- we tried to contact Ty, but he hasn't responded all morning, so-" 

Mama G cuts herself off, but nobody bothers to fill the silence she left between us. It's like they're all just waiting for me to offer an explanation, but I'm not ready to touch on that yet.

I have bigger questions and concerns to address right now. 

"H- how did I get here?" I ask suddenly, causing everybody's eyes to widen in concern.

Both Harlee and Harper look to Mama G for guidance before anybody opens their mouth. They all go to speak at the same time, but Mama G beats Harlee and Harper to the punch. 

"The doctor said you may not remember everything at first! That's okay!" she exclaims, seemingly more to convince herself rather than to assure me. She pauses for a moment to question how to proceed before ultimately just spitting it out. "We uh- we found you earlier this morning after trying to call you a few times with no response..." 

She trails off for a moment to turn toward my sisters as if to ask if she should continue. Harlee grows uncomfortable, shrugging her shoulders with a sympathetic look, and Harper simply nods her head once. 

Why is everybody being so weird?

Mama G takes a deep breath, fixing me with a distraught look before she continues. "We... we found you... beaten up pretty bad, and unconscious..." she says, just the memory enough to choke her up. I feel guilt quickly form in my belly, but let her finish for the sake of getting some answers. "McKaiden was crying in her bouncer... untouched, but pretty shaken up and hungry..."

Dane just left me there? Me and the baby? After finding out about Rob? What did he do with Evelyn? With Russ?

I... I don't understand!

I can tell on her face that Mama G has more to say, but she silently consults the girls again before turning back to me with another sigh. 

"Were you seeing that man, Hayden? The one with the long hair?" she asks after a second. 

So Russ was there when they found me... 

I shrug my shoulders, his name like acid when it passes through my mind. "I was," I admit with a hurt tone I can't hide from my voice. "I... I don't think things are going to go any further with that though... It's over..."

The Goldskateers exchange glances again, the looks hidden behind all of their faces revealing an elephant in the room. 

What? What are they not telling me?!

Mama G clears her throat after a couple of seconds, her eyes soft when she reaches out to grasp my hand in hers. 

"The police said he tried to kill you, Hayden," she practically whispers, her eyes swelling with tears as the words escape her lips. "-He almost did! He- he tried to kill you, and then took the easy way out like a coward! W- why did he do this, Hayden? What happened?"

... They're blaming this on Russ? I can't help but think as I start to process her words. And he... he took the easy way out? 

What does that mean...?

"Easy way out?" I ask, confused.  

Mama G and Harper slowly nod their heads. "He... overdosed..." Harper mutters, only for Mama G to pick up where she left off. "We found him in the room with you and the baby... needle in his arm and everything... Was worried about you... your blood test came back clean... proud of you..."

Mama G keeps talking, but her words falter off into the depths of my mind. 

Dane killed him... 

Part of me wants to cry; I've spent these last few months really falling for this guy, and less than 24 hours ago I wanted to have his baby! 

Part of me knows better than to feel bad though... as far as any of the Golds are concerned, he tried to kill me... Feeling bad for him in front of them would be equivalent to feeling bad for him last night after I found out everything was just a lie...

So why do I begin to uncontrollably cry? Why does my body shake with overwhelming emotion?

"It's okay! It's okay!" The Goldskateers immediately move in to console me. Mama G embraces me from one side, Harper, the other, and Harlee just gently throws herself over my legs.

"It's over now, honey," Mama G whispers, her voice reflecting the tears that must stream her cheeks. "It's over. Everything is okay now!"

I feel a warmth in their embrace; For the first time in what feels like forever, I'm not the one taking the fall for the mistakes I've brought into their life...

The warmth doesn't last long though. The voices that managed to survive the wreck of my mind are quick to remind me...

This is far from over...