Jenalyn: Disconnected (#5) [Complete]

Chapter 54: Evelyn

Sat. 1/31/09 • 8:38 P.M. PST

I didn't think my day could get any worse. If not because it was yet another day of just sitting around in this house while Jena is out there living some crazy life I can be no part of, than just because my urge to use is at an all time high.

I can't live on the East Coast doing the same shit I've been doing all of this time, but in order for me to stay out here on the West coast I have to be invisible.

Invisible, and probably lethal... I  can't help but think as I mindlessly stare off into space.

Jena changes McKaiden's diaper, going on about how the baby was upset when she picked her up today or something. 

I've barely been listening. I have way too much on my mind... how did I get in to any of this? I should have let my brother drown me... could it be any worse than drowning in my own guilt? 

"It was just really weird!" Jena exclaims as she puts a new diaper on the baby. "I thought she was hurt or sick or something, but she's been fine ever since! Just cranky, not screaming or anything. Mama G said it's normal."

I lean up on the side of the changing table, trying to seem more attentive but failing. I can't even look at her. I can't stop thinking about the text message I got from who I can only assume to be my brother earlier. 

I haven't heard from him since we were in New York, and have obviously been thankful for that. 

He only let me come out here with bad intentions... I have no idea what his master plan is, but I know he wants me to carry out some part of it. 

Unknown: Is our pop
tart showing interest
in any of those boys
out there? You're not
being a cock block, 
are you Ev? I'd say 
that goes against our
terms and conditions.

He must have my phone tapped- I figured as much. I'm not being a cock block though! Jena has hung out with that Russell guy numerous times since I've been here! I can't help that she isn't whoring it up like she did with him! 

And why does he need her interested in other guys anyway? If this is his attempt at finding out who fathered her baby, my brother is a lot stupider than I gave him credit for. Nothing makes sense!

"I don't know... maybe you should take her to the hospital? Just to be sure?" I force after too many seconds of silence pass between me and Jena. I can't help the dubious tone in my voice. I don't know what Dane wants from me, but feel the pressure from him all the way across the country...

"I'll just keep an eye on her tonight," Hayden says with a small smile on her face. She lifts the baby over her shoulder and walks to the crib. 

I go to follow Jena as she starts to make her way to the bedroom door, but my phone vibrates in my pocket and freezes me in my spot. When I open my phone, I'm less than surprised to see another message from the unknown number I know is Dane. 

Unknown: As a matter of 
fact, what's she doing 
tonight? Let's not waste 
any more time, Evelyn. You
know I'm not a patient man.
Genes run strong in our
family. 

"Ev, c'mon!" Hayden yells, pulling my attention from my phone. My chest feels heavy. It's like I can feel Dane's hot breath over my shoulder, watching and judging my every move. 

I can't stop thinking about all of that water he shoved me beneath until my thoughts went blank... I feel like I'm drowning all over again. 

I have to follow Jena though. The baby is crying and she hates to listen to it because it makes her feel like a bad parent. I run across the baby's room and out into the hall, regaining my composure as we make our way to Jena's room. 

"W- what are your plans tonight, by the way?" I force myself to ask knowing Dane is probably listening. I let myself fall onto her bed, trying to act normal although I feel anything but. 

Jena makes her way into her bathroom before she responds. "Uhm... nothing, I guess?" she yells, her voice echoing in the tall ceilings. "Did you have something in mind? I can't leave the baby, but... there's a ton of fun stuff to do here."

I don't know what to say to that. Dane obviously wants Jena fucking around with dudes, from what it seems, but how the hell does he expect me to make it happen? 

"I mean... what about Russell?" I asks, uncertain on what else I could say without having Dane thinking I'm "cock blocking.' I clear my throat, trying to seem more confident than I feel. "Don't you have fun when he comes over?"

I'm sure she thinks this is so out of character for me. Jena is completely aware that I don't like Russell because of how I act whenever he comes over. I'm not exactly the best actor. 

She comes out of her bathroom carrying one of her overly expensive face creams she was so excited to tell me about. She glares at me as if I were an alien; I don't blame her. 

"One, you hate Russ," she says matter of factly, her face confused. "And two, I have the baby. What the heck is up with that, Ev? You're being weird."

I laugh, hoping to God that Dane doesn't take her saying that I'm acting weird too literally. "I just... feel bad." I shrug, looking down at my phone when I feel another vibration. My heart feels like it could explode, but I reign it in when I look down to find that it's just a notification for one of my phone games. I rush to continue before I give Dane a reason to text me again. "You don't get to do anything because of me... and you obviously like him."

Jena blushes. "He doesn't want to come over, he wants me to go to his place," she says, opening her fancy face cream. I can't believe my eyes as I watch her perform some weird ritual before applying it. A spoon, rubbing it around in her fingers, pressing it into her face... what the hell is all that? Just take a heap, and rub it in! 

"-And again, I have the baby, so... another day, maybe." she adds. 

I can't help but advert my gaze from her as the bit of air I've held in escapes my lungs. Dane is going to find a way to blame that on me- as if I can do anything about that! 

"I can watch her?" I offer as a last resort. I know Jena will decline the offer. As if saving the baby's life wasn't enough, she seems... weird about leaving me alone with her. The only reason I don't take it personal is because she seems to be the same way with everybody other than the Golds. "She pretty much sleeps all through the night, right? I'm pretty sure I can handle that. Plus, you're just a phone call away, right?" I quickly add.

It takes a moment for Jena to respond. I watch her finish up moisturizing her face, the wheels in her mind so visibly turning. "What is going on with you, Ev? This is so out of character for you..." she says suddenly. I expected something of the sort. "I'm not going anywhere! You're freaking me out, to be honest... do I need to take you to a hospital?"

I roll my eyes, trying hard to stay in character though on the inside I feel like I'm falling apart. Dane is listening; I can't just write off her denial like I have been. "I literally just feel bad, Jena," I say. "This is not the life you used to tell me about. I... ruined everything for you. Tyler doesn't even come around because of me. I just... I want you to have fun."

Jena is silent for a few moments, but I can see the familiar ghost of a smile spread across her face as she assumingly considers the idea. 

My phone vibrates in my hand, and I look down to find another message from Dane, this one allowing me to let out a silent sigh of relief. 

Unknown: Good job, Ev. 
Now, tell me about this 
guy.