My Somewhat Forbidden Love

5

I get out the shower and still got about an hour and a half before I start heading over to Cameron's. I don't know what to wear or how to style my hair. But then again it wouldn't matter. It's not like I'm noticed any way. And if I am, it's for all the wrong reasons.

I walk over to my dresser and start pulling out different dresses and skirts. I put on a dress with a light floral pattern that goes right above my knee, and look into the mirror. The first thing I notice are my legs.

Being Italian along with other Hispanic backgrounds, I have the looks. Although I can't speak Spanish for the life of me, I'm cursed with these wide hips of mine and thick thighs. Having a somewhat large bust doesn't help either. I look up at my face and see my wide brown eyes looking back at me. I wonder what it feels like to be beautiful.

Yasmin is super pretty. Her cocoa skin and short chocolate brown hair are perfect. Her legs thin and waist tight. She was beautiful. I never look at her with jealousy or envy. I look at her with want sometimes. I want to be thin and pretty like her. And I'm just... Well I'm just me..

I take off the dress in disgust and wipe away a quick tear. I put my hair in a high messy bun and grab a pair of skinny jeans and my over sized hoodie and slip into them. I put on my Uggs and take my purse and pack a water bottle and a few pretzels. That should be enough lunch right? I'll skip breakfast too.. It'll just be extra anyways.

When I get to Cameron's house his mom opens the door and I hug her tightly.

"He's upstairs darling, do you have lunch? I can pack you something really quick if you'd like."

"No thanks Mrs. M, got a full meal in my bag here." I smile somewhat weakly and I see the weird look in her face. Gladly she doesn't question anything and let's me run upstairs.

"Hey loser not ready yet?" I plop on his bed and take out my phone texting Yas and Luna letting them know I'll meet up with them by the school.

"Not quite but what's up Maddie? I saw your text and you seem like you got stuff on your mind so spill it." He brushes his blonde hair out of his face and sits next to me on the bed.

"It's about Nate. I'm scared that he will hate me if I tell him about my age. I had the worst nightmare last night and I'm afraid that's exactly what will happen. I don't know how to tell him but I have to." I sigh and rub my temples. Just remembering the look on his face was hurting me.

I wonder if that's what he really looks like.. I'll wait until he finally decides to put a picture of himself. Which will be when pigs fly!!!

"Just breathe Maddie, you're over thinking this whole situation. When Carly told me about her age I didn't mind not one bit. And you know why? Well because I liked her for who she was and the way she presented herself. Not because of her age. And if Nate really likes you as he claims to, then he shouldn't mind. But the sooner you tell him.. The better."

He was right. As usual. I hug him tightly and thank him and we ride the train together to school.

Once I see Luna and Yas I hug Cameron goodbye and tell him I'll text him after school. Oh boy.. This is going to be a long ass day. But again, I ignore the rumbles my stomach is screaming, and slap on the old fake smile.

"Hey Maddie ready for today?" Asked Luna with a gentle smile.

"Yeah let's go." Although I have all these friends and family that care for me.. I still feel so alone.