My Somewhat Forbidden Love

32

*buzz buzz*

What the hell I'm trying to sleep and this phone keeps vibrating like crazy.

Don't get me wrong though it's not the phone. iPhones are the best as well as all apple products. BUT ...this asshole keeps burning it up.

I close my eyes to sleep again and then came another few moments of buzzing. I sit up and check my phone.

"Please text me Madison."

The fuck? It's freaking 2:30 in the morning. Can he not?

I roll my eyes and turn my phone on silent. I try falling back to sleep but I just can't. Once something's on my mind bothering me, I can't get it out of there unless I solve it.

What is it that he wants? He didn't text me until he saw me the night of the party.

Now If Nathan were texting me at 2:30 a.m I'd of course be up without any complaints. But Alexander? I might as well turn off my phone.

I sit up and push my hair back as I sigh. I think back to all the things he called me, all that he's done to hurt me. I wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve that. It would be over the littlest things, like over what to watch on t.v. If I so much as changed it, I got a nice slap to the face. So romantic.

Oh and don't get me started on what I could and could not eat. The list goes on and on and soon enough it was finally over. He was gone. But not the memories. All that he said and did to me were imprinted in my mind. I started to believe what he said. But then I started seeing how I've changed slowly as I met Nathan.

I'm nearly back to who I once was. Maybe even better. He makes the best in me shine and I couldn't have asked for anything more. I've already got the best with him.

"You're worthless Madison you can't do anything right go fucking pick that up."

His voice comes back to mind and I shut my eyes. I remember flinching when he said that because he had his hand raised at me. Thinking back, I was a real pussy. I should have hit back.

I mean I tried, But he would just hit 10 times harder. After that, I never tried again.

If I told my mother about what Alexander did, she would legit never let me out the house, socialize with any other guy, or let me talk to one either. I appreciate her concern, but at times it's just suffocating. But mothers are mothers and it's their job to protect. Especially since she has to live with 3 teenagers in the house while my dad isn't around much unless it involves us.

I sit in the dark and just think back and scan through everything. Alexander has done so much damage, and if he's trying to come back in my life, it's not happening. I only have one person on my mind and that's Nate.

Long distance isn't that bad though. It gives us more to talk about, look forward to, and appreciate. It actually brings us closer I guess. If we feel attached now then imagine when we actually meet.

I walk over and sit by my window and look out at the stars.

I wonder if the stars shine out for us. Nathan and I can't look at the same stars because of time difference, but I can't help but wish upon one. One day I won't need to wish. All I'd have to do is admire.

I keep looking at a star that seems to stand out from the rest. It's almost as if it's isolated from the others because it looks different. But the only difference is that it's shining brighter. It was a beautiful night.

I hum a song to myself and start to sing quietly.

"There's a star out there
Calling out your name
Although I can't be there
My love remains the same
Shining bright
In the sky
We will meet
Someday in time."

Silly little song I sang one day while I was playing around with the piano. But the words mean something.

At least to me they do.

I go back to bed and the thoughts about Alexander are washed away as I think about Nathan.

Soon enough I'm lost in a world of dreams.

Dream .. dream.. dream ~