My Somewhat Forbidden Love

20

I wake up Sunday morning and stretch out in bed. Last night I did the impossible. I told Nathan the single thing that's been holding me back, and he's still here. I'm honestly starting to think he does.. love me.

I wash my face and still see the puffiness of my cheeks from the tears last night. As I get out the shower I go over to my dresser and take out a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans and get changed. I hope it's not awkward when we talk again today.

My biggest fear is that he might see me as different. Maybe a little less mature. Honestly I just want it to be the normal way we would talk, because nothing has changed. I'm still Madison, only difference is my age.

My ma didn't sound happy when she found out he was 2 years older. I get where she's coming from, but it still bothers me that she can't accept the feelings I have for Nathan. It might just tear her and I apart, because I know damn well I'm not going down without a fight.

Nathan isn't just any guy. He isn't just a randomer. No he is absolutely amazing. Such diversity in his personality. His control over his goals, his security at what he stands by. His appearance was just a bonus. Jeez I'm lucky. And the fact he likes me? Oh lord I hope God isn't playing tricks with my heart.

I think you're falling a bit too hard too soon. It's not even that serious. It'll end within a few months, maybe even less.

My negativity seems to consume my mind. I can't really help it though. When does something this good happen to me? If I get any bit of happiness I see it getting snatched away. I get out of thought when I see my phone on my desk. I should probably text him. It's around 12 pm for him.

"Hey Nathan"

"Hay Maddie how's u"

We talk for about a couple hours or so before he had to leave for grinds. He didn't even bring up last night. I'm so glad he didn't because another cry session wouldn't have helped.

Ah crap I forgot to tell Yasmin and Luna. Oh well, I'll tell them tomorrow before class. I'm just going to relax and cut out the negativity. Maybe I do deserve this happiness, hopefully it doesn't get snatched from my very arms.

If anyone tries to take it away I'm definitely not going to let them without a fight. This was worth fighting for. He's worth fighting for. I fear for my family's disapproval. They're very quick to judge. Especially my mother.

I hope I'm not silly for caring this much about Nathan. The last time I got attached to a guy he used every advantage he possibly had to shatter me into a million pieces of nothingness. I've gone from the beatings to the verbal abuse, making my mind completely shut down. Then Nathan came along about 2 months later. And my whole life changed from that first hello...