My Somewhat Forbidden Love

45

The next morning after my shower and getting dressed, I head downstairs for breakfast.

I see my mother sipping on her coffee and looks at me intently. I ignore it and get myself an apple.

"Madison-"

"It's fine Ma I'll see you after school. Have a good day at work."

I grab my purse and kiss Emily on the cheek as I walk out. I should have gave out to her, but it's just not worth it. I'll speak to her after school and hear her side, but for now I won't even bother.

As I arrive to class with my tea in hand, I see Luna waving at me patting an empty seat beside her. I walk over and hug her.

"Hey you, how's everything? How was your weekend?" She asks.

"It was alright nothing out of the ordinary."

"Then why do you seem so enclosed?"

"I'm okay, ma just tried something with me and I wasn't having it."

"Ah, well how'd you handle it?"

"As usual, like a lady."

She looks at me smirking.

"Classy never trashy." She says.

We always try our best to handle cases lady like. I hate making over dramatic scenes, they don't solve anything. So I keep simple instead of barking like a dog and try to handle it maturely.. no matter how much I would rather handle it otherwise..

After a few classes we head over to lunch and I see Yasmin.

"Hey sugar." she says.

"Hey what you up to after school?"

"Uh got nothing planned."

"Alright well Luna and I are going on a little shopping spree. Wanna come?"

"It's not pay day for me yet."

"I got you don't worry. We could even look around for.. dresses."

I swallow hard just saying that word.

"Really!! Okay yes perfect."

I smile and we eat lunch together. I guess I wouldn't mind dressing up a bit. I don't hate dresses and heels and makeup and all. But I just feel different in them. I like to hide my curves under over sized hoodies and jeans. But we don't need to go into the reasons why. It's pretty clear.

Nathan and I text for a few before he has to go to bed. I have yet to show him a picture of my full body.

And no, I don't mean nudes.

He's only really seen my face. But I bet when he sees me as I am he'd run in disgust.

Not once has he ever made me feel bad about my body or anything like that. But I can't help but fear that my stupid curves would drive him away.

"Madison do you like this dress?" Asks Yasmin.

It was a lilac printed dress that flowed. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty. But not for my body. I shake my head at her and look at the jeans.

"Nope no jeans. You said dresses."

I sigh and follow her back into the dress isle.

"What about this one?"

She holds up a white dress with a light pink print and sweet heart neckline. It was beautiful.

"Uh I don't know it's not really my style." I lie.

"Madison shut up you know you love it."

"Uh ya whatever."

She grabs my arm and takes me to the dressing room. I expected her to get out but instead she stayed and watched me.

"Uh Yas can you get the fuck out." I say as I laugh.

"Nope I want to make sure you try it on and not bullshit me." She says as I roll my eyes.

She takes a seat and waits for me to undress. As I start to unzip my jeans I notice a huge mirror right before me. God I hate my reflection. I'm surprised the damn mirror hasn't shattered yet.

I sigh and slip out of my jeans and pull my sweater off.

"Whoa Maddie."

"Ya?"

"Damn sugar, that ass."

"Shut up and pass me the damn dress."

She smiles and keeps staring at me as she passes the dress over. I slip into it without looking at the mirror.

"Well?"

"Maddie look at yourself."

"Nope. Just tell me if it's pretty so that I can get out of it."

She stands up and turns me around so that I was facing the mirror.

"What do you see?" She asks.

"Me."

"What about you smart ass."

"Me in a dress."

"Do you feel pretty?"

I tilt my head slightly and examine the reflection.

"I mean I guess so. It's not that bad."

"Madison it's beautiful, just as you are. You can't keep doubting that okay?"

"Ya you're right."

I say this so she could stop making me look at myself. It's awkward.

"Good that's why I brought 4 other dresses for you to try."

She runs out to get them and I'm left alone with my reflection. I look up at my collar bone and gaze down and feel a small smile starting to form.

Maybe I am pretty.

As I gaze lower I notice my legs. I turn to see my back side. I look up at my arms and immediately feel disgusted. Who am I kidding, there's no room for beauty when I'm nothing but the opposite.

I look away and take off the dress as tears stream down my cheek.

I hear Yasmin coming.

"Madison ready for the next dress?"

I got myself into this mess and I don't want to ruin the shopping so I wipe my tears away and plaster a fake smile.

"Ya..come in."