My Somewhat Forbidden Love

26

It was the last night Nathan and I had to speak and then it was back to him being gone. Am I selfish for wanting more time with him? Hell if I could I'd spend eternity with him.

He asks if we can Skype and I agree desperately. Sorry, but anything to hear his voice one last time.

"Hello?"

"Ya alrii Maddie"

We stay up late together and lose track of time. Now Nathan is always on point with his timing. Previous days we would Skype, and he'd give me an exact time. But I of course call 10 minutes after the given time. Maybe even more. But he wouldn't get upset or mad at me, just laughs and starts a conversation.

"Well it's almost time." he says.

I look over at the time and sigh.

"Mhmm, can't wait." I try and laugh off the tears that start to form.

"Oh can't you now." he says chuckling softly.

I sniffle and wipe away a tear. I think I sniffled too loudly though.

"Maddie you alright?"

"Ya I'm fine, just thinking about you."

I laugh a little and try to mask the sadness in my voice, but I'm failing terribly.

"Nah Maddie you crying or something?"

"No it's allergies." I say as we both laugh.

"It can't be allergies, you're only allergic to carrots."

I sniffle again and keep wiping away the stream falling from my eyes. Jesus Madison sounding like a little b*tch. Stop crying, I hated the fact I did when I told him my age. He probably felt annoyed that I was crying. Keep yourself together.

"I'm good. I'll miss you tons though."

"Imma miss you too, any last words though if not you'll have to hold it in till I get back." he says and I can feel him smiling.

"Um ya you suck and ummmm you're an assface and a nugget head and I never liked you."

We both laugh and I feel the tears continuing to fall down. Damn I'm
Going to miss him. I'm way too attached this isn't good. He's taking it so lightly. Maybe I should back off.

"Ya Maddie sound."

When he says sound that means a sarcastic thank you. I've gotten used to his Irish slang.

"Seriously though Imma miss you loads Maddie and remember to eat breakfast everyday ya"

"Ya and you better take your insulin the same amount of times everyday. No slackin or else I'll replace you with Luna." I say with a smile and sniffle.

"Ah Maddie stop that you're gunna make me cry."

I could hear his voice cracking a little. Is he going to cry? I know he never does this and he probably feels awkward so let me keep it together.

"I'm all good." I say as I breathe in and wipe my tears with my sleeve.

"Alrigh Maddie, I Love You loads. I'll be back and I'll probably text you around Easter break."

"Alright Nathan got it. I love you tons, if you need anything you know where to find me. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Maddie."

We hang up and I let everything go. I let the tears fall as I lay down in bed. I leave the right side empty, again, and I cuddle up against the pillow.

Another month to go. Soon it'll be over. But why do I feel so attached? At this point I don't care. I'm in love with him and I just want to be with him, see him smile, hear his laugh, look in his eyes, and love our lives.

Only a girl can dream.