My Somewhat Forbidden Love

36

"Luna I need your help."

"What's up?"

"Come with me, I don't want people hearing. And I know we're in school but still, it's kinda... Urgent."

We walk to the back of the school and down to the basement.

"Okay what's up?"

"Alright well you know how Nate and I like each other and all that right?"

"Well duh." she says as she laughs.

"Okay well I started thinking about him in ... that way."

"Oh shit girl it's about time!"

"What?"

"Okay I get it, you're a virgin. But it's okay to think like that! I can't blame you though, your boyfriend is sexy as fu-"

"Okay okay I get it."

"All I'm saying is I bet he's a freak on the down low."

She winks at me and bites her lip.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is he's a guy. He thinks of those things."

"We hardly ever talk about that, and if we do he's just playing around or stating his nerdy facts about estrogen and hormones and shit. Oh! Did you know kissing is good for you?"

"Alright Maddie shut up. You guys are nerds, I know." she laughs.

"Well it's true."

"I bet he's definitely a freak. He might act like he doesn't think like that, and brushes it off when you guys 'mess around' but c'mon Maddie don't be oblivious. He wants that ass."

I blush and my eyes widen.

"Luna!"

"What?! Girl that ass is fine trust me."

"Oh god."

"Anyways, what made you start thinking about him that way? Besides him being fine as hell."

"Uh I don't know honestly. I've just been having urges I guess but I'm not doing anything about them."

"Wait.. so you never..?"

I blush brighter and look down.

"Oh god Maddie you're missing out."

"I don't even know what I'd like."

"That's the whole point. You should really try it and see what you like and dislike, if it's too much then stop."

"I don't know. But hey we got to go, the bell is going to ring and we got Music theory to go to."

"Yeah yeah. I didn't do her homework."

"Neither did I."

"That's because you were too busy fantasizing." she chuckles.

I punch her arm and we run upstairs. I can't help but think how inexperienced I am. I know the basics of course and I got the details down, but I just never acted upon them. I'm such an awkward duck. Like that one duck that just waddles all the way in the back and looks different from the others as if it hasn't grown yet, tumbling over everything?

Yup that's me.

Soon enough I'll change though. Maybe into a beautiful swan, But nope.

For now I'm an ugly ass clumsy duckling just falling behind.

Perfect.

What the hell does this man see in me?

That my friend, is a question only he would know.