Unrequited? A Lie Told-A Promise Broken

42. -Mint & Art-

-Mint-

I look around the table as everyone chats and laughs. I'm overwhelmed.

I have never been a part of a family. I'm relieved my child will. I have been frozen from the moment he died. I couldn't decide on or buy anything. I kept wondering what my Fiat would like for our son.

It broke my heart everyday.

"Oh man this so good." Art says and I smile.

I watch him devour his plate beside me, "Fiat told me you love pasta."

"I really really do. Thank you for making dinner. Are you tired?" He asks.

"I'm too happy to be tired."

"Really?"

I place my hand over his on the table, "Thank you so much."

He turns in his chair to face me, "For what?"

I stare at him completely overwhelmed. I try desperately not to cry but already it's overtaking me.

Suddenly, he stands and takes my hand pulling me into the kitchen.

"Are you ok?" He asks me when we are alone.

"Ignore me. I'll just go to my room and collect myself." I tell him.

"Can I go with you?" He asks.

I look at him for a moment and nod.

I take a seat on the couch in my bedroom.

"Is it alright that I'm in here?" Art asks as he stands at the door.

I nod. "Please take a seat."

He sits beside me, "Why are you so upset?" He asks me.

I take moment trying to collect my thoughts, "A lot of reasons." I say finally.

"Tell me the first."

I reach towards the side table to retrieve my baby book.

I open it to the center where I stashed our photo.

It's a photo I took of us on our first date.

I smile at the camera and he smiles at me. My fingers graze the patch of grey hair that streaked his dark mane. I loved that streak so much.

"You miss him?" He asks me.

"So much I can't breathe." I admit.

"He will always be with you."

"I feel him, I just wish he could hold me. I know I have no right but I loved him."

"The right to mourn him? Of course you do."

"I know we did a bad thing but this baby was made with love."

"I believe that. No one is judging you."

"I judge myself. I don't know what to do I can't even decide on clothes for my baby."

"Who would expect you to when your mourning?"

"I still have to be a good mother. But I don't know how. I never had a mother."

"Just love him and give him all the things you wanted as little girl."