Unrequited? A Lie Told-A Promise Broken

56. -Jay-

-Jay-

He perch's over me as he guides me inside. I drop my head back as he swallows me up.

He wraps his arms around my neck prompting me to look at him.

"Hold me." He demands and I wrap my arms around him and pull him against me.
I groan as he squeezes my dick and relaxes. Squeezes and relaxes at a steady pace making my dick throb in response.

"Talk to me." He says against my ear.

"About?"

"Everything and anything. Tell me what vexes you, pisses you off, and anything we aren't talking about."

"What about you?"

"Ask me anything and I'll answer."

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask as I run my hands up his back.

His body quivers and his grasp around my dick tightens.

"I'm unhappy baby." He admits.

"With?"

"With myself."

"What about yourself makes you unhappy?" I ask as I take hold of both his shoulders pushing him down further against me.

He moans softly as he dilates wildly.

"I'm frustrated because my life doesn't have clear direction presently. Now that I quit modeling I'm struggling with deciding where to go from here. I obsess over it until I feel useless. Until I feel sick with myself. I'm sorry I take it out on you baby. I can't stand myself for treating you that way. Forgive me for letting you think for a moment that it was your fault. I feel bad every time I mistreat you I have no excuse. Only in explanation do I admit it comes from feeling anxious to the point of actual dread. It's sick to admit that the moment I am mean and snap it makes me feel better for only half a second. That is until I see how upset it makes you. Then I feel anxious, fear, and I resent myself for lashing out at the person I love the most in the whole world and finding even a second of satisfaction from it. It's a toxic cycle inside of me that I so badly want to fix. You really don't deserve it baby, at all not even for a second."

We both are silent as I ingest his words.

"How can I make it better?" I ask finally.

"Baby you are the best. You take care of me better than I deserve but you can't fix this for me. I need to find better ways to cope with how I'm feeling. Talking to Art helped alot. I have a few ideas now on how I can move forward and feel more in control and proactive. Please forgive me Jay, I'll be better I promise."

"I do forgive you, but I ache inside."

"What aches you babe?"

"You make me feel useless." I admit.

He is quiet for a long time I think he is thinking until I start to feel him trembling against me.

I reach back and pull at his arms to release my neck and pull him back to look at me. His face is red and his lashes are wet from tears.

His eyes are closed and tears roll down his cheeks.

I take his face in my hands and wipe at his tears with my thumbs but the more I wipe the more that come.

"What's hurting you baby?" I ask him as I lean forward and kiss him gently against each eyelid.

He leans forward to wrap his arms around me but I stop him.