Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Twenty-One

Warning: Content related to abuse

I rushed to open my door, realising too late I'd just left my bag, with my key in Daniels room.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed. People were now coming out their rooms, heading to the track. We greeted and nodded our heads at passers by. "Not a word," I looked at Lauren as I walked back to Daniels door.

'KNOCK''KNOCK''KNOCK'

I banged hard on the door. He took a few seconds to open up, each felt like an eternity. He looked at me wide eyed. "I can't really go for another round right now," he laughed. "I've got a race to get to"

My face burnt with embarrassment, "Daniel!" I looked back at Lauren whose eyes were practically popping out her head. "I left my bag," I pushed him to one side and slipped past to grab my bag from the sideboard.

I left his room and noticed Lauren giggling looking back at his door. I turned to see that big stupid grin across his face holding a big thumbs up. I shuck my head, rolling my eyes.

I had to rush to get ready, I'd had what was the quickest shower of my life and pulled over my work clothes. I'd opted for jeans and a Red Bull T-shirt with my classic converse.

"So... are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Lauren had been probing me with questions the moment we stepped into my room.

I blushed just thinking about it. His hands on my body, his taste. The fireworks that he had produced, his tongue on my most sensitive parts.

"Earth to Libby, your dribbling!" She cackled as we headed down to the foyer.

"I am not," I replied, snapping out my daze. "We just. I mean I just."

"Hun, the look on your face right now. Tells me everything I need to know.

We climbed into the back of the car that was taking us down to the track. "He's the first person I've been that close to since my last relationship."

I was serious now, I wanted to talk about this with Lauren without having to rake up old scars. No one knew about what my relationship had been like with Mark, other than now with Daniel, I'd never spoken about it.

🎵 Favourite crime – Olivia Rodrigo 🎵

I'd told Lauren a lot about my past, my mental health and stuff but nothing about Mark. Even my family had no idea the pain he caused me, how toxic and abusive he was. My friends from back home thought we were the ideal couple, so in love it hurt. I told no one about the abuse, no one about the way our relationship ended. I'd covered the evidence, the bruises and cuts. Made up stories for the injuries I couldn't hide.

No one else was aware and I wanted it to stay that way. My parents just thought he was madly in love and didn't want me to leave him. I was extremely close with my mom, we spoke near enough everyday and before I got together with Mark we had spent almost all our time together. Little did they know Mark was now practically stalking my every move. Still sending me threats and abuse. Trying to work out where I was and when, threatening to turn up whenever.

I had completely removed myself from social media when we split. I had changed the name people knew me as at Red Bull, I'd done everything in my power to stop him finding out where I was.

Obviously the main flaw of that plan is that I was literally in a job that meant I worked for the media to see. I tried my best to stay out of shots, stay out of media interviews eye line. I tried to avoid people taking photos with me in case they ended up on social media.

No one had really questioned it other than Lauren, I'd brushed it off at the time, but she was aware of the fact we didn't have pictures together. It didn't take long for Mark to work out I had a job within F1, but he hadn't done anything drastic. He would just become more active in his manipulative behaviour each time he caught a glimpse of me on camera.

This was the reason I hadn't been home since Christmas last year, no one at Red Bull knew that, when people talked about the time they had off seeing their family's I just joined in, no one even suspected that I'd spend the any time we had off in my small apartment.... Alone. The way he had acted when he knew I was home was unbearable, I felt scared to even leave the house.

"The guy I was with before, before I came to Red Bull and changed my entire life, he wasn't a good guy." I continued, Lauren's eyes looking deeply into mine.

"What do you mean?"

"He was... he." I wasn't actually sure how much I was willing to reveal. If I was honest with her the lines would start to blur between this life and my life before. I decided to play it down and keep it simple. "He was just very toxic and manipulative. He wasn't a good person and liked to remind me of that. Frequently."

"He hurt you?"

"In ways that you don't even know. I mean it's fine now, I cut him out and left that life behind. Buts hard to believe the next guy won't be the same. It's hard to let anyone past those walls I built up."

Lauren just listened, she placed her hand over mine and squeezed them tight. A tear fell down my face, I'd forgotten how raw all those memories were. How little time I had given myself to process what had happened.

I pulled myself together, swallowing down my thoughts. "I think it's good for you." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"To just have some fun. I see the way that Aussie looks at you, and trust me he might joke around with everyone he meets. But those eyes, they only glow when he's looking at you. Especially if your smiling."

I smiled back at her, it was crazy to me that I had met this person and in so little time she had become everything and more. I never believed in soul mates, I thought it was a movie cliché, but Lauren, she was my soul mate. The person I was destined for. "I love you, you know that."

"I'm pretty loveable!" She smiled, "I love you, even more than that super sexy Ferrari mechanic." We both laughed, I was so happy.