Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Twenty-Six

The rest of the weekend passed quickly, Daniel had another great race but got taken at the last moment by George Russell, I was gutted for him but a P2 wasn't a bad settle. He'd kept Max behind him which was a bonus even though we didn't talk about it.

We had another gap between the Miami Grand Prix and Imola, so Daniel had taken the opportunity to fly to his house in LA for a few days. I again avoided the subject and allowed everyone to think I was going home to see my family.

Daniel had flown out almost straight after the race, which meant I was facing another long week of sleeping alone. The nightmares always game back when I was home, I stopped sleeping and worked out a lot! I went back to my old ways of coping, I swam for hours at night, stopped eating properly and stopped properly caring for myself.
None of this I told Daniel when he called or text.

In his eyes I was coping fine, enjoying my time relaxing. This was the story I fed him any way. I was missing him more than I was willing to admit. It was a bit longer before I had to fly out to the next race as it was only in Europe, we didn't have to account for long haul flight times.

Lauren and I flew out on Wednesday morning and we had landed by lunch time. Daniel had offered to come and pick both me and Lauren up from the airport. I'd turned him down, saying it would look odd him picking us up when all the other staff had to get cars or a coach to their accommodation.

When we arrived I saw that he had clearly ignored my concerns as he sat in his car out the front. He got out his car as we approached and winked at me. "I told you we'd be fine," I said, as he picked up my suitcase and loaded it into the truck.

"I've learnt that sometimes if I ask Lauren similar questions to you, I get a better answer from her," he replied. I looked across to Lauren. She shrugged her shoulders

"Look, he asked if I'd like a lift, I said I would, I'd much rather be driven by someone who is award winning then whoever drives those cars," she said gesturing the taxis behind us.

Daniel drove us to the hotel and we checked in. Daniel had already been here a couple days and made sure we'd got our adjoining rooms. We headed up to the floor we were on and I helped Lauren with her luggage and Daniel took mine.

I'd given Daniel my key card to get in my room while I took Lauren to hers. We talked for hours about the whole Daniel situation and how I started to want something more to happen. I wanted to know what he was thinking, what his feelings were about me and this relationship we had. We were spending all our time together at race weekends and being in contact everyday when we were apart. "Just talk to him, you don't need to ask for a label just get some reassurance?" Lauren always seemed to read my mind.

"What if it changes everything. What if it messes everything up.?" I asked.

"Then you cry and we drown ourselves in alcohol for three days. But at least you'd know where you stood. You could look to a future, whether it's with him or without." She pulled me into a hug, she was right I needed to know. Avoidance wasn't solving any thing and was making my anxiety bad.

I made my way to my hotel room and Daniel had left it on the catch for me to get in. I opened the door to see him wondering between the two rooms. The room was beautiful, it had the most amazing views.

He walked across to me and picked me up, swinging me round. His face nestled between my neck and shoulder. I giggled as he put me down, kissing me on the lips aggressively. I kissed him back. Oh how I'd missed this, his smell was just something I couldn't describe, something I could never get enough off. His taste made my knees week, his tongue dancing with mine. He grabbed at my body, hungry for my touch.

We drew apart to draw breath. "Hi," I smiled.

"I missed you," he replied picking me up once again and laying me down on the bed softly. He climbed on top of me kissing my neck, sucking on my skin. He pulled at my top and I placed a single hand on his chest. He stopped instantly, it was crazy to me that he could read me so well. Mark never stopped when I wanted him to, let alone without me even asking him too.

"Sorry, I thought," he sat beside me. "You don't want to?"

I sat up, adjusting slightly to face him. I placed my hands on his face and kissed him gently. "I always want to with you," I smiled. "I just... can we talk a little."

"Ok," he said pulling me in close to him, our legs intertwined like spaghetti.

"I don't know how this is going to go, but I need to know something."

"Anything."

"Does this mean something to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like emotionally does this mean something to you? I mean us when we mess around or make out and have like... bedroom fun." I was blushing now. God I sounded like a school girl asking her crush to be her boyfriend. Deep breaths

"You mean the amazing things we do to each other? The earth shattering orgasms we give each other. The craving I have to touch every part of your body, to see your eyes roll back in euphoria. That stuff?" He was smiling at me now, my cheeks burning red.

"Yes, that stuff. I don't know what it is I even want to you say. It's just that it's not just fun for me, I have other feelings for you and I don't think I can keep doing this and not develop even deeper feelings for you."

He sat smiling at me, the silence was there but it wasn't awkward. It was like he was taking me in, all of me in. "Libby I've been with no one else since I met you. No one else even crossed my mind after you. And the first time I got into bed with you, I think you had my whole heart. I love what we have right now, it's not that I want to hide you or not tell anyone. I'd shout it from the rooftops, but I know what happens when this becomes public. I know the effect it has on people. So for right now, I want to keep this as private as I possibly can. Although I have decided I'm not going between races without you again, we'll either both go to where I'm going or I come home with you."

It was everything I needed to hear and more. I had fallen head over heals for this man and he had those feelings for me. I threw myself on him and planted kisses all over his face. "I'm guessing that was the right answer," he laughed.

"Yep, and your reward is room service and a movie because I'm shattered and you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow," I said pulling myself off the bed.

"Wasn't exactly the reward I'd hoped for," he replied pulling me back to him from my waist.

"Patience is a virtue Mr Ricciardo." I giggled.