Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Thirty-Six

🎵 The night we met – Lord Huron 🎵

The door was wrenched open, his eyes ran over my body. He couldn't hide the look of confusion and pain on his face.

There I stood in just my underwear, I couldn't get anything else on, fully exposed to his eyes.

"I need your help" I sobbed. "I can't"

"It's okay," he replied. He seemed to know what I needed. He didn't ask what had happened, didn't push for answers. "Tell me if you need to stop or what me to stop touching you. We'll go slow okay?"

I nodded. Daniel helped me dress, he gently  manoeuvred the material to cause me the least amount of pain. "I can't wear this," I said while he tightened the clasp on my bra and I flinched, "My shoulder"

He removed the bra, pealing it from my breasts. It reminded me of all the times he had done that before, it felt like a lifetime ago. He disappeared for a moment into his room, he came back with a big oversized hoodie, it was perfect, it would cover more than anything I had. He worked slowly and carefully to pull it over my head. He'd pulled his own soft shorts down to give to me, much better than the cycle shorts I had left out. "Don't," I stopped him as he lifted a leg, "I'm erm. They might get my blood on them." He looked at me confused. "I'm bleeding down there." I looked down toward my crotch and started to sob again.

His eyes closed tight as he sighed, that answered some of the questions he hadn't asked. "It doesn't matter, I just want you to feel as comfortable as possible."

More tears poured from my eyes. "Can I hold you?" He asked moving slowly. I nodded closing the distance. No matter what had happened these last few days I just wanted to be held. His arms so soft, holding me gently and it was more than enough. I sobbed into his chest, I'd never been so unsure of my future, so unsure of how I was going to navigate the next steps of my journey.

He packed up the few of the things left around my room. I watched in the mirror as he bagged my ripped playsuit, picked up the police jacket I'd abandoned on the bathroom floor last night. I turned away, I didn't want to see him take the things away. I didn't need to know what he was going to do with it.

"I've got to give the jacket to reception."

"Ok," he replied. "We'll do it on the way out"

I didn't resist any of his help. He took our luggage and I followed him down to the foyer. I was flying with a group of the drivers to Monaco, as the race was there this week they all could stay in their homes. I was meant to be staying at Daniel's, I hadn't told him I had organised a small room at a B&B near the circuit when everything had happened on Friday.

We headed to the car, "it's just us till we get the the plane. Michael should be down in a few minutes but I'll make sure he doesn't ask questions. Then Max, Charles and Lando are joining us with a couple people they are travelling with." I nodded back to him.

I definitely didn't want to face their eyes, my outfit didn't cover the marks on my face, the grazes on the back of my legs. It wasn't hard to see the hand print bruise round my neck. I'd covered it as much as I could with some foundation, but it was such a deep purple.

I hated the thought of it confirming everything they thought of me. How much of a slut I was. I'm sure Max would love to see all his opinions of me confirmed. He would relish at the sight of me knowing he was right all alone. I was just an easy shag. Just a slut they could play games with. And Lando, I'd been so rude to him last night. It wasn't his fault, but I didn't know how many of them knew. Fuck did Carlos know and that's why he let me kiss him. Did all the drivers know about this bet and all wanted a piece. Wanted to see how easy I really was.

Michael got into the car quietly. "Morning guys," he was somber. I didn't look back at him. I wasn't sure if I was embarrassed to but I knew that I hadn't forgiven him for betraying me. For not stopping me from getting my heart broken.

We headed to the airport in silence, the odd word spoken between Michael and Daniel. My head was spinning thinking about the last couple of days and I was exhausted. We boarded straight onto the plane and I found a seat at the back, a single seat squeezed right into the corner. Perfect.

Daniel got a blanket and placed it over my body. He took his cap from his head and pulled it over mine, passed me the sunglasses from his face and smiled down at me. A sympathetic smile. I was grateful, I wanted to cover as much of my body as I could.

The flight was only about 4 hours, and I pretended to be asleep from the moment we took off to the moment we landed. There had been some chatting on the plane but Daniel had just sat looking at me the whole flight. He came over every so often to adjust my blanket or pull the hair away from my face.

Michael, Max and Lando had looked across to me throughout the flight. They didn't know I was watching them as they gestured to me while talking. They all seemed to buy into the pretence I was asleep.

I dreaded the thought of that conversation. Jesus what they must think of me.

"Hey," Daniel touched my arm gently. "We're here"