Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Eighty-Three

🎵 Je te laisserai des mots – Patrick Watson 🎵

I had progressively gotten worse over the next two weeks, only managing to get out of bed for short bursts of time. I was pretty much vomiting everything that I was consuming, just about able to keep small clear fluids in. We had only really had those first few days were we'd spent time together and doing things because I just no longer had the energy.

Daniel was supportive in the whole, but I could see his frustration at the situation. I mean I wasn't thrilled myself, the first time in ages where we could just be together and do whatever we wanted and I couldn't even face the back garden.

His family had come round here and there. Grace had been so lovely and caring but around the end of the second week I could sense tension between them. I was spending more and more time in bed, Daniel had encouraged me to come down and spend time with them while they were round but Grace had insisted I stay in bed and rest.

We'd argued a few times about it, I think Daniel felt our relationship was being judged by his family. Like he was being judged for not taking care of me. Things got heated, so I made an appointment with Daniels local doctor just to check in and make sure this wasn't anything more than a bug.

"I'm off now Daniel," I called out into the back garden. He climbed out pool and walked over to me.

"I can still come, you don't have to go in your own."

"It's fine, I don't want to take anymore time away from your family, I've been enough of a pain. I've called a car and it's outside," I replied.

He kissed me gently on the forehead. "Okay, I'll see you when you get back." He turned and headed back to the pool. Things still weren't right with us. I didn't know what I had done to make him draw away, I could smell the alcohol on his breath again, it was only 11am. Was he drowning his sorrows?

-

I made my way to the doctors and waited to be seen. I discussed my symptoms and explained as much of my history as I could. He said he wanted to run a few basic tests and do some blood work.

He checked my stats, and asked me to provide a urine sample. I waited a while to go back into his consultation room once a nurse had done my bloods. The doctors face seemed to have a much more serious look to it now.

"Libby you said you take the progesterone-only pill?" He asked. "Do you take it regularly at the same time each day?"

"Erm yes I try to, with all the time differences between race weekends I can't guarantee it's always at the same time."

"And do you use this as your main form of contraception or do you also use condoms?"

"Erm, no we don't tend to use condoms."

"Have you had unprotected sex in say, the last 6 months?"

"Yes"

"When was the last time you had unprotected sex?"

"Am I missing something here?" He just raised his eyebrows at me. "Erm probably the last month or so."

"And how many sexual partners have you had since then,"

"One... look can we cut the crap and get to what your point is!"

"Libby the reason you've been so unwell is because your pregnant."

Holy shit. My ears started to ring and the room was spinning. I was what. No it wasn't possible.

"I can't be, I've had a period this month"

"It was probably implantation bleeding. Your urine results were very clear but I can't give you 100% certainty until your bloods come back." He paused, "unless you'd like me to scan you?"

"No." I quickly responded. "I... I just need a second." What was I going to do. How could this be happening, I wasn't ready. I'd always dreamed of being a mom, but I'd only just officially got with Daniel. The media didn't even know about us and I didn't know how he even felt about kids, it was too soon.

"Ok, I need to go," I stood up fast, the blood rushing down too quickly, I stumbled.

"Wait, just hang on."

"I can't I'm sorry, I need to go."

-

How I got from that moment to standing at Daniel's front door passed in a blur. My body had just taken over, my mind was racing. The last thing I fully remember was calling the car to come and get me. I'd rushed out so fast, the doctor hadn't had a second to reason with me.

I made my way into the house and headed straight up to our room. I stood for a moment watching Michael and Scotty running around the garden, dive bombing into the pool. Daniel's parents were laid out by the pool with his niece and nephew. There was a sense of calm to the scene.

"Hey," his deep voice made me jump. "You coming down? How did it go?" I didn't turn round immediately, I wanted to take these few seconds before I dropped the bomb. Maybe he'd be excited, maybe he'd want this and I wouldn't need to worry.

I turned slowly round to him, our eyes locking. I had to just get it out, tears were coming, I was frightened of how he was going to react

"Daniel, I'm pregnant."