Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Eighty

🎵 Like my Father - JAX 🎵

I had an amazing few days at home celebrating my birthday. We went out for a lunch time meal with my family and had my cousins and other family around in the evening. They all got a shock to see me with Daniel, though most of them had no idea who he was. I thought it might hurt his feelings when my cousin announced he wouldn't have stood out even if he was in a race suit. She wasn't exactly soft with her words. I apologised on her behalf but Daniel seemed to like being unknown for a while. He got to just be a boyfriend for a few days.

We spent a lot of time with my mom and papa, my relationship with him being better than it had been in years. I remembered all the good times we had. I also had forgotten that no matter the arguments we had, how much love he had for his family. He was so protective of me in the following days after mark that I felt like I had a couple of bodyguards everywhere I went. I also got to see him and my mom together, they were the only reason I still believed in love after mark. Papa was a different person when he was with her, the love they shared was something I couldn't describe.

He truly treated her like a Queen, showered her in compliments and made her feel his love. Even Daniel mentioned to me how much of gentleman he was. He still opened the car door for her every time they went out, pulled out her chair every time they sat down for a meal. They were the imagine of soulmates.

We saw a lot of Dre and Kaiden, I had to get in as much time with them as I could before I had to leave. We had a flight booked for the Tuesday evening for Budapest. We'd only have 4 days together in the end after we had to do Milton Keynes last week. I tried to savour every minute but it passed before we even knew it. We were packing up to travel down to Luton airport where we'd meet the rest of the guys on the red bull plane. Max had already text to say he was missing Daniel, Kelly couldn't come to England with his this last week so he'd been on his own.

"Don't cry daring" my mom was holding on to me like she was holding all my broken pieces together. I hadn't stopped crying since we started packing at lunch time. It was the second time now that I really didn't want to go back to the races. Go back to pretending and not having Daniel at my side at every moment. I hugged my papa and he tried to dry my face with his hands but the tears kept coming.

"Non devi andare, posso prendermi cura di te se hai bisogno di andartene. Lo sai." I smiled at his words and climbed into the car. I pulled a blanket round me and tried to stifle my sobbing. I knew it was breaking everyone around me as much I was falling apart inside. I managed a smile and waved as we pulled off the drive, my mom had tears running down her face. I felt so guilty.

"What did your dad say" Daniel looked at me with sadness.

"Nothing," I replied closing my eyes, they burnt with the tears. He held out his hand to me but I couldn't take it. I knew it wasn't his fault but I was sad that our relationship had to be this way. I had loved every second that we had been together at the house. I sat with him, I tried everything to keep him by my side and keep my body in contact with his. My love language with him was 100% touch, I  hadn't ever been that way with Mark and I knew for the next week we'd barely be able to touch at all.

"What's wrong"

"I'm tired," I pulled the blanket to my head and closed my eyes. They were abruptly opened when the car swung right and pulled into a lay-by, he pulled the car right, practically in the middle of a forest.

"Jesus, Daniel!"

"Talk to me" he pulled my hand into his and unbuckled my belt. He pulled at me as he pulled his car seat back.

"Daniel,"

He pulled me hard across to him, "climb over come on" that smile, it could make me do anything he asked. I pulled over to him and sat on his lap, resting my head on his chest.

"Lib whats wrong"

"Nothing"

"We promised we would talk, did you not enjoy this weekend?"

"Too much"

"What do you mean" he lifted my head and our faces were practically touching. I started to sob harder.

"This, it hurts me"

"Being with me hurts you" he readjusted and pushed me up from his chest. "How can you say that" he was sharp and angry. He had hurt my arms as he pushed me off him.

I opened the car door and moved from his lap to climb out. "Wait," he reached for my arm and pulled hard. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let go. I felt panicked and dropped to the floor. I raised my hands to protect my face and curled up expecting a blow. Time stood still for a moment.

I felt his body shift as he got out the car and sat down next to me. "Libby" I was sobbing and gasping for breath. "Please don't I won't hurt you. I'd never"

I stood and walked away to the other side of the car. "We're going to be late" I said gasping for breath.

"I don't care"

"Just forget it"

"No"

"Daniel"

"Did you really think I'd hit you"

"You grabbed me and it hurt. What I know is if someone can grab you like that they can hit you like that"

"Don't say that"

"It's the truth"

"You don't trust me"

....

I did, I trusted him more than I ever had before. "I've never trusted someone more. That's the problem"

His hands were on my thighs as he crouched down beside the passenger seat.

"I don't understand"

"When we get to that airport we'll be back to pretending. When we get back in that paddock we'll be back to working. There won't be a kiss when I feel down, there won't be a hand when I feel overwhelmed. I know it's not your fault but I have to start distancing myself now so it doesn't hurt as much when we get there. And having a weekend together like that only makes it harder. I realise how much I miss it."

Silence

"Give me till the summer break, then no more hiding I promise" I looked down at his face and saw the sadness I had caused. "Please don't give up... on me" his voice cracked and a tear left his eye. I pulled out of the car and threw myself into his arms.

"I could never ever give up on you"

We got back into the car and started the journey. Daniel didn't let go of my hand for a second. He circled the back of it with his thumb and brought it to his mouth to kiss every time we stopped. It took nearly 2 hours to arrive at the airport but we loaded up pretty quickly and headed off the runway at 6pm.

The flight was fairly quick, two and half hours. I decided to sit with Max and Daniel so I could go over some of the schedule for the weekend. Isla was sitting across the plane with her head phones in. I saw max go over to her a couple of times and they seemed to be arguing. Daniel had sat close to me and pushed our thighs together. He held his hand to my thigh nearly the whole flight. He tried to get me to watch a film with him once max had moved to sit alone and sleep. I refused and carried on working.

—————————
Thank you for all the reads on this book so far. I have loved writing this and hope you guys like reading it.

Way more drama is yet to come just you wait.

Here's to 2023 and all it can bring!
Happy new year
❤️