Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Thirty

I had woken up in a foreign mindset, feeling a way I had never experienced before. My sleep had been broken but I lacked the motivation to care. I got up and made a coffee, tried to be as normal as I could, while feeling like an imposter in my own body.

Laur 💖
Hey little miss, are you still coming with me this morning? xx

Lib 👼
Sure am! I'll be ready in 10 xx

Laur 💖
Worth me asking how you are? xx

Lib 👼
Nope! All fine x

I'd spoken to Lauren last night and just told her not to ask me how I was doing or anything to do with the last couple of days. She came by my room and picked me up and we headed down to the circuit for race day.

She had to get in earlier than I did but I didn't want to face the day alone just yet. She'd been surprised to see me 'all dolled up', her words, for the day but like I said I was feeling different. It was all a fake front but no one need know that.

She held my hand in the car, I didn't pull away, secretly I loved her for it. Turns out she knew me better than I even realised.

"You'll be fine," she smiled.

"I know," I replied, my voice shaky.

The paddock was pretty empty at this time so I knew I could sneak into my office without seeing too many faces. I had catching up to do and Lauren had a busy start to her day before the race, so we parted ways at the motorhome. She gripped me tight one last time before she walked away, secretly I wished I was going with her, but I dug down deep and headed to my office.

I had managed a couple of hours work without too many interactions. Charlotte had popped her head in to ask how I was and update me on how the weekend had gone. She asked a couple of times if I was sure I should be there, I'm guessing my appearance still looked a little walking dead vibes! But i'd caught up with what was needed and looked at the plan for the day. I presumed Daniel still didn't know I was back, or maybe he did and he didn't care. Anyway, it didn't matter, I wasn't needed before a race anyway not really. I would head down just before they left the garage for a few photos for social media, but otherwise not needed.

As I was gathering my things to head down to the garage I saw a familiar face headed to my office.

"Hi." Michael greeted me with a smile, a sympathy smile.

"Come on... no time for loitering. I need to head down and get some shots."

"Libby, can we talk?"

"No Michael we can't."

I pushed past him making my way to the garage, trying to ignore the gazes I felt from the room. The burning pressure of Michaels eyes on my back. We had to rush to get into the garage, it was crowded with lots of movement in and out.

"Mate there you are, where have you..." his voice, that Aussie twang. Our eyes locked, I regretted coming today instantly. The pain just looking at him was unbearable, yet it was still like the whole world stopped. Like in that moment it was just us together again, craving each other's touch. I craved his taste on my lips, for just one more dance with his tongue.

"Hey," I was pulled to one side, grateful to whoever caused our break in eye contact. "Libs you okay?" God how I wished people would stop asking me that.

"Jamie... hi," he pulled me into a hug but I resisted, I didn't want to feel his hands on me here, I didn't know why but I didn't.

"Yeh I'm fine," I said, "Look I need to get some pictures and other bits before it starts, chat later okay?" I didn't give him chance to answer as I walked away.

The garage had emptied now and it was just those needed for the race. No family, friends, celebrities, just the team... and him, his deep brown eyes hunting me down. I quickly realised what he was doing. I was wearing a t-shirt; he was checking my exposed skin for signs of damage. It's what people do you see, if they know your dirty little secret. They search for signs.

-

The race went the same way most of the weekend had, Daniel was sloppy, driving angry didn't suit him. He'd managed some overtakes, some not all together safe or fair. He'd just about finished in the points. P10. He was worth so much more than that. He got out his car and looked about as pissed as I would be.

He headed off into his driver's room without stopping to talk to anyone, Michael followed him while I watched. All eyes were on me so it seemed. Shit.

I followed on behind the two, knowing I was going to have to face them sooner rather than later. He had to get his interviews done then he could go, he could sulk however he wanted, and more importantly I could go.

'Knock' 'Knock'

I waited on the outside of his driver's room, my hands shaking. "WHAT!" he shouted as he pulled the door open. I was taken back; I didn't know what I expected but it wasn't that.

"Lib..." his voice went quiet, my eyes burned with tears. "You can do your interviews now if you want, they have space, and then your debrief." I said stepping back from him.

"Are you okay?" he replied.

"Do you want to do the interviews now?" I ignored his question. My god my heart hurt just to be around him, to smell him, I still craved his touch. What was wrong with me.

"Ok." he answered simply

"Well sort your face, and stop losing your temper at the interviewers. Not a good look." I say glaring at him.