Deep Breath | Daniel Ricciardo

Part Eighty-Nine

🎵 Skinny love – Birdy 🎵

I was panicking. The pain inside was so intense, I felt down to my crotch, blood and lots of it. Was I going to loose the baby?

Lose my child before I'd even got to love them.

This was all my fault, I shouldn't have cared how Daniel reacted I should have been better than that. I should've taken better care of myself for the baby. I shouldn't have lifted that tyre or half the things I'd been doing the last month. Was this it, was this my punishment. I sat in the moment frozen. What was I meant to do?

'No, that's not my story ' I thought. I pushed myself to my feet. I needed to get out the paddock, then I'd find a car to take me to the hospital. I could do this... I would do this. I stumbled under the pain and grasped my way out the motor home as best I could. I wanted to scream, I didn't know what was worse the physical or emotional pain I was feeling. I made it most of the way down toward the turnstiles stopping every so many steps to grin down and bare the pain.

I got to the end of the garages and fell into a bench. I used the object to bare all my weight. I was crying now, I didn't know why this was happening.

" Señorita"  I turned to that sweet Spanish voice.

"Carlos," I cried out. "Why.... Why aren't you in the car" I forced the words out between deep breaths

"My love what is wrong"

"Carlos," I cried harder now "I think I'm losing my baby"

"Sit down, oh Jesus your bleeding," he helped me sit but the pain was worse so he held me while I stood and cried into his arms.

"sí sí, behind the Ferrari garage"

"Carlos what are you doing"

"You need an ambulance"

"No the press"

"Fuck the press"

I held onto his body and cried through the pain. "I never even saw a scan" I sobbed into his chest.

The paramedics arrived quickly and had me in the ambulance so quickly I couldn't adjust to everything that was happening. Carlos stayed by my side and I held onto him for dear life. I had started to loose consciousness but I wasn't scared any more.

"Let me go with the baby Carlos"

"No Señorita, don't say this. You have to fight"

I was out before he finished his sentence and I felt myself slip into the darkness and I was ok.

I was at peace.

-

Daniels POV

I hadn't run so fast in so long. Michael had told me over the radio that Libby had gone in an ambulance to the local hospital as soon as he had found out. I'd aborted the final 30 minutes  of FP2 and made a run for it.

Why did traffic stand still when you needed it to move. I raced the streets to the hospital, I had never felt so alone before. I don't know what was happening, no one answered my calls. I didn't know where she was or what happened. I have never loved any one like I love Libby. And in a moment, a fraction of a second I'd destroyed it with my blind panic.

When I had arrived she was still being actively treated in the emergency department. Carlos filled me in on what he knew but we couldn't go in to see her. He told me that she wasn't fighting.

I had only myself to blame, but she was giving up. I knew that she had this darkness but I needed her to see the light. To see a life with me and our beautiful baby. To see the happiness of life. Even if she never forgave me I would make sure her life was full of happiness. I just needed her to fight.

"Are you family?"

"Yes"

"Please come in"

I rushed over to her bed side, she was unconscious and wires and tubes seemed to be coming from everywhere.

"What's happening is she okay"

Carlos rushed in behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

The doctor spoke but I didn't hear, my body and mind was frozen. My beautiful Libby, what had I done to us.