Short Stories :P

{5} My Useless Existence | Sep 19, 2022

TW: Death

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I laid in my dark room, flat on my bed, listening to music as I thought about life. As dumb as that may sound, I can't seem to stop thinking about life. My life. Or lack of life. I don't know. The more I think about it, the more I realise how useless my existence is.

I'm slipping away, and the only reason I'm still holding on is because of my twin brother, Samuel. The only person who seems to care. The only person who actually loves me.

A knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts. I jumped up from my bed, quickly scurrying to put everything away, scared that it's my parents outside. Parents. They don't even treat me like a daughter. Why should I call them my parents?

"Don't worry. It's just me." Sam's familiar voice whispered. I sighed in relief, my heartbeat slowing down as I went to open my door. Outside, stood my blonde brother with sea blue eyes, looking practically identical to me, though I have more feminine features.

He had a fluffy, pink blanket wrapped around him, as if it was a cloak; wearing a heart pyjama set, even if we were sixteen. "Come in." I mumbled, moving to the side so my brother could walk in. "What do you want?" I asked, as Sam settled down on my desk chair, me sitting on my twin bed.

"To check up on you." He responded. "At--" I cut myself off, looking over to my clock. "--3:46 in the morning?" I questioned jokingly. "Well, I saw you were listening to, might I say, depressing songs, on Spotify, so I wanted to see how you were doing."

I rolled my eyes at the worried look that masked his face. "I'm fine," I simply answered. "C'mon, Kamille, I know life has been tough recently. If you don't open up to someone, you're gonna explode." He declared in a serious tone, as well as using my whole name, which actually proves how important he really finds this.

I sighed, leaning my head back to look at the ceiling. "Well, I don't know. Nothing is really wrong. I mean nothing tragic has happened, it's just as if my existence doesn't matter. Mom and dad are really distant. All of my 'friends' never actually contact me. And I just thought this world would be so much better without me. I mean, I won't affect anything, y'know?"

My twin sighed, standing up from the chair and coming to sit next to me on the bed, which barely fit the both of us, but we managed. He slowly wrapped his blanket around me as well, hugging me from the side; allowing me to rest my head on his shoulder.

"Kam, y'know your existence matters. You are self-driven, brave, and have the brightest smile ever. This world would be so dull and sad without you shining over everything." Sam stated, rubbing my arm reassuringly. "Don't ever think otherwise."

My heart fluttered at his words. My already-existing grin spread even wider on my face, reaching up to my sea blue eyes. "What will I do without you Sam?" I quizzed, though the only reply I got was silence. "Sam?" I called out. Nothing.

I looked up, seeing no one there. My airpods were still in, soft music still playing that I somehow didn't hear. I looked down and saw that I was indeed wrapped in his pink blanket. Slowly, I brought it up to my nose and sniffed it. Still smells like him.

Oh, what can I do without you, Sam? I just want to be with you. At the other side. People say it's like paradise over there. Maybe-- I'll finally be happy again when I get there. Maybe I'll finally be happy again when I'm with you once more.

640 words

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I haven't talked to anyone for a few days, and I think I completely went crazy. It felt as if my life was useless, and I started imagining that I had people around me even if they weren't. Finally I decided to come clean about it through my writing.