Italics is thoughts
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Have you ever felt lonely? Not the 'nobody will talk to me' lonely, more of a 'no one understands me' lonely. Because, well, no one understands me most of the time.
They don't understand how my life is like, what I've been through, how I feel. They don't know what I'm like when it's just me, alone, in my room.
Every time they pick arguments with me, whether it's my classmates from school, or my mom, they would blame me for everything that's wrong in their life, blame me for everything that is happening; and overtime, I started to believe them, to blame myself.
Finally, I realised the stupidity of my thoughts. Why would I blame myself? It's their life, their problem. I have nothing to do with it. They don't know me. They don't know what I'm like.
And that blame, they don't know how it feels like. Because they haven't been blamed for being the reason their family is falling apart, or been blamed for breaking someone's heart; and they don't know how lonely it is to stand alone, having to take that blame while everyone else stands by.
Sometimes, it honestly feels like I'm the only one in the world, or that I'm really invisible, though is brought back whenever they need to put the pressure on someone else.
And that feels so, so lonely, being invisible, being blamed, being secluded, being the only one in the world; reaching for whatever hope, whatever person that believes you-- reaching with your dirty, beat up hand for a beam of light to hold it.
I'm still looking for my beam of light, to shine over my darkness as the loneliness slips away-- and someday I will; that, I can only hope.
292 words
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This was written after I talked with the school's guidance counsellor. I really didn't want to, but my best friend has been urging me to since she's seen how home life has been affecting me. The counsellor somehow understood me with a few spoken sentences, and I really got to understand myself afterwards even if it was just one session.
YOU ARE READING
Short Stories :P
RandomBehind these books and words stand a lonely writer with an explosion of thoughts and feelings she is never able to show. Read this book to get an insight on small snippets of my life. ~Editing/checking finished~
