Short Stories :P

{126} To Him I'm Just Nothing | Aug 15, 2023

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To him I'm just a forced conversation, a "pass-by" on a boring day. To him I'm just a pit stop for a small meaningless conversation, a take-then-litter sort of friend.

I know he doesn't care for me the way I care for him. He's like a brother, someone I enjoy talking to, genuinely attempts to talk to. And I want him to enjoy talking with me too, but I know I'll never be as important to him as his other friends.

To him I'm not worth the effort to reach out to, a "kill-time" when he has nothing to do. To him I don't deserve actually well thought out replies, just another useless being in his life.

I'd like to think I've helped him out with certain things in life, that I was able to better him in a way, even if it's a small way. But maybe it was so small that he couldn't even see it, maybe it was just an invisible act that was only a light breeze passing by.

To him I'm just an emotional-support dog. Follows you around, reaches out for when you're sad. Always there for the shit, and the glory, while you return with a temporary treat.

I've always cared for him and defended his name, I've always made sure that he was happy before I was. It's almost like he doesn't notice these things, these attempts of being a better person, better friend. And I've been bettering myself as well, for him, adjusting certain things I do so that he could finally accept me as an equal.

To him I'm just nothing. Nothing important, nothing good. To him I'm just nothing. Nothing worth waiting for, nothing worth caring for, nothing worth it at all. And I want to be something, just something worth recognising in his life, yet I can't even get that for all I have done.

I just want him to see me as a good friend too. I want some sort of recognition for my continuous attempt in helping him out, just by allowing himself to be my friend too. Maybe I'm just too desperate, maybe I'm just delusional.

I guess I'll always just be the girl who craves attention: follows you around like a girlfriend, talks to you like a brother, treats you like a king. But to me, you are my best friend, and I just want to be your best friend too.

406 words

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I have this friend that doesn't seem to care about me as much as I care about him, and y'know, that isn't the most pleasant feeling; being unwanted.