Let's Be Perfectly Queer | Quinn Fabray

4. Chasing Bikes

XXXX

XXXX

September 1st, 2004.

Judy hovered outside her daughter's bedroom and glanced at her watch, exhaling the breath she was holding when it was clear her youngest would be missing the bus. Deciding it was best to face the issue head on, she lifted her knuckle and softly knocked, pushing the door open when she didn't hear a response.

There, laying tightly under her mess of blankets, was her youngest daughter. She could see the tear stains on her face from the doorway. It was the first thing that caught her attention next to the ripped up birthday cards her father had sent her filled with their child support instead of a heartfelt note. Little shreds of pink birthday cards from days that weren't even her child's birthday laid on the floor and the desktop beside the true birthday card.

Judy slipped over to the desk and smiled softly when she noticed the blue envelope neatly placed in the caddy with a stamp ready to go on the corner. There were a few stains on it, and Judy could only assume it was tears. Whatever had been written to Kailani this time, Judy was pleased to know the child would write back swiftly around their busy first few days of middle school.

"Lucy." Judy whispered, lowering down on the mattress. She brushed her daughter's dark hair out of her eyes and picked up her glasses on the stand. "Lucy, Sweetie. You're going to be late for school."

"I don't wanna go," Lucy muttered, squeezing her eyes shut. She turned her head into the side of her pillow and ignored her mother the best she could.

"You're ten now. You have to go to school."

"You said that when I was nine, too."

"Because it's true."

Lucy groaned, flipping completely over onto her stomach and hiding her face away from her mother. She pulled her covers over the dark, messy knots in her tousled auburn hair.

"What's going on today?" Judy sighed, rubbing her daughter's back. She frowned when Lucy flinched and hugged her pillow a bit tighter. "Luce. Talk to me. Mommy can't help if you don't tell me."

"I want to stay home today. Please." Lucy whimpered. "Mommy, please. I'll go do first days tomorrow."

"Did something happen at your dad's house?" Judy asked, brushing back Lucy's hair to see her daughter's scrunched face. "I know you don't like to go, and I don't like you going either, but we have to listen to the court. Soon Mommy will get them to make him leave."

"I want to go visit Koda."

"Lu—"

"I want Kailani." Lucy whimpered, turning completely away from her mother and softly crying into her pillow. "Mommy, please. It hurts."

Unsure how to handle the situation, Judy sat there on the edge of the bed in silence. She ran her hand up and down Lucy's back, watching the child cry into her stuffed animals now that the pillow was soaked in her sixth grader's tears.

"Kailani is at school today, honey. Like you should be." Judy reminded her daughter. "I can talk to Burt about you visiting them another day, but this week is really hard on their family. You know this."

"I should be there." Lucy whispered, glancing at the letter open on her side table. "Koda needs me. I know they do, Mommy. I can feel it."

"What Kailani needs is her family. Kai needs to learn how to function without their mommy. You can't get in the way of that. I know it's difficult, but we have to offer help from a distance."