Bunny - Kenjorine - Transition

Book 2 chapter 20

I turn on the couch to face him as well. He sits with his elbow on the top of the couch as he looks at me. He looks a bit sad, and like he has something to say.

"Are you doing okay, Kenny?"

"Do you remember the first time we kissed?"

"Yeah, in the hallway at school. Why do you ask?"

"I told you I was scared to kiss you, because I knew I'd never be able to let go of those feelings."

"Oh yeah..."

"And you told me that was okay."

"I did."

He looks down. "I miss you."

I don't respond. I can't. My feelings are to complicated and jumbled I don't even know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now.

I do know however, that my heart is racing. It always races around Kenny.

He continues. "Do you have feelings for Bradley?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you want to date him?"

"What? No he's just a friend."

"He doesn't see it that way."

"How can you tell."

"As someone with experience in being in love with you, I know what it looks like."

"Woah... I couldn't even tell..."

"It makes me jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah."

Kenny is... jealous? I shouldn't feel as happy about this as I do.

"Well..." I start quietly. "I don't like him like that, if it helps."

"Good."

We sit in silence for a while. He's looking into my eyes and I'm looking into his. Usually I'd feel awkward doing this but I'm so comfortable.

He takes a deep breath. "I think about us a lot."

He's doing it again...

"Mar, you were probably the best thing that has happened to me."

Talking about the past again.

"And I don't know if-"

Shut up. Kiss me.

I move onto his lap and wrap my arms behind his neck. "Me too."

He exhales in relief and smiles. That beautiful smile.

I kiss him gently for a couple seconds. He looks up at me with the cutest excited smile. His eyes sparkle when his face turns red.

He slips his big hands under my sweater and up to my rib cage. This makes my stomach even more tingly than before. I grind gently on his lap in reaction, maintaining eye contact.

He flips me over. I let out a small yelp and land on my back on the couch with Kenny looking down at me.

He's desperate.

I'm so happy right now.

And horny

He kisses my neck gently and I let out small audible breaths.

Suddenly I remember Karen. I remember how I hurt her. I remember why I can't be with Kenny.

"W-wait! Wait stop-"

Kenny sits up and takes his hands off me. "What? What's wrong?" He sounds concerned.

"We can't do this- I can't do it- not after I hurt Karen-"

His expression changes to one of pain. "I guess either way you hurt one of us."

"No- I don't mean to just- you know I can't- you care about her too I-"

"But she needs to learn that I can have my own life and shit happens. She's working on it in therapy along with her trauma treatment."

"But I couldn't face her again after breaking her heart."

"Then I guess you shouldn't face me again either. I'm not sure how many more heartbreaks this family can take from you." He stands up and puts his coat on.

I should stop him.

I really shouldn't let him leave like this.

The door closes and I'm alone in my apartment again.

"Damn it..."