CHASING ALLEN

#74- LEGAL

All my life I've been thinking if my parents do care for me, o kung naiisip ba nilang somehow hindi lang naman pera at materyal na bagay ang kailangan ko mula sa kanila. I also needed love and care. Pero in my entire existence, puro lang cash, texts and calls ang natatanggap ko, specially from my Mom. But how about Dad? Does he care about me? Does he wonder if how Im doing? Does he asked himself if I want to see him? That once in my life I want to meet him.

Pero ano nga bang magagawa ko kung wala, ni-hindi nga niya ko magawang kontakin, puro lang siya padala ng pera, binilan pa nga niya ko ng bahay eh! But somehow I want his his hug, his kiss and his explanation. I don't want one day will come and still Im clueless that I've been. It's unfair!

Gaya nga ng lagi kong sinasabi, I am happy because Im choosing to be happy, instead of ranting about how unfair life is, I'd rather choose to laugh and feel contented with all the people around me, accept all their love for me. Kumbaga, wag ng hanapin ang wala. But still it's not enough.

I'm turning eighteen this coming May but still, Im not complete. It's like finding the last piece of the puzzle but since you can't find it you have no choice but to leave the puzzle unfinished and incomplete.

Patapos na ang summer class at bukas na ang eighteenth birthday ko. Any party? No. Wala.

Pauwi na ko gabi ng May 14, wala akong binibigay na hint sa mga kaibigan ko, though, hopefully maalala nila, pero honestly hindi na ako mag-aabalang maghanda, para san pa? I might give my self a false hope.

11:30pm. Mag-isa lang ako, hindi makatulog at binabagabag ng kung ano-anong isipin. Wala eh, ito ang pinakamainam na magawa para sa gabing ito. Nag-stay lang ako sa kwarto hanggang sa halos ala-una na ng madaling araw ng makarinig ako ng ingay sa labas ng bahay.

May nag-gigitara at may kumakanta. Napakunot ang noo ko at hopefull na bumaba ng bahay para silipin kung anong nangyayari sa labas.

♪♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! ♪♪

Masayang kanta nila pagkabukas ko ng pinto, not minding the time at ang mga kapitbahay na natutulog na. I was stunned and caught off guard. Hindi ko nagawang kumilos.

Henry opened the gate at kumanta pa ulit sila habang papasok sa bakuran namin.

I was speechless and surprised is an understatement. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanilang lahat at naitakip ko nalang ang kamay ko sa bibig ko ng dahan-dahang tumulo ang luha ko.

"Happy birthday baby!" Masayang sabi ni Ate Julie at niyakap ako.

"Any wish for this legal year of yours?" Nakangiting tanong ni Henry at doon ko lang napansin ang hawak niyang cake na may kandilang number eighteen.

OMG! Dalaga na ko!

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at nginitian siya bago pumikit.

Lord, Thank you for these wonderful people around me. Isa lang po ang wish ko, I want to meet my Dad. Thank you for this another year, ang sarap niyo po talagang magmahal Lord.

Dumilat ako at hinipan ang apoy ng kandila.

"Yehey!" Masayang sigaw nila at paulit-ulit kumanta ng happy birthday song hanggang makapasok kami sa bahay.

Syempre picture-picture. Ngiti at pose dito ang naganap habang inaayos nila ang dala nilang pagkain.

"Hala.." Natatawang sabi ko. I was lost words. Completely speechless.