Almost Is Never Enough || Book I

Chapter 3

Almost Is Never Enough

Chapter 3

You continued packing when Siva came into the room. "Everything okay love?"

"Everything's just great, thanks for asking Seev." you said with sarcasm.

"Are you packing?" He said, loudly. Perfect. Let the whole damn world know Seev!

"Yes Siva, I'm packing, and you wanna know why? Because every time I get close to someone, I fuck things up. So I'm leaving...for good." you said.

"You-you can't!" he said. "They'll be heartbroken..."

"They already are!" you yelled, "and it's all because of me. Jay almost committed suicide!" You zipped your bag, everything that was yours was packed. "Bye Seev, tell the other lads and the girls I'll be going." You hugged Siva and then exit the room.

You walked down the stairs and exit the boys' flat for the very last time. You felt everyone watching you leave, but you couldn't bear to look at them. There were too many good memories, but they didn't come to mind because all you thought about was how you fucked up two people's lives.

You went to your car and opened the door, dropping your bag inside. You sat in the car seat, then locked the doors.

You sat and took deep breaths, trying not to break down. You looked out the window, facing the flat, amazed at how nobody stopped you from leaving. You let a traitor tear escape, then more, until you were bawling. You shakily started up the engine, wincing in pain. Your back still hurt. But, what hurt more was your heart. Sadly, there was nothing you could do about it, your back would heal, but your heart? That never would. You started to back out of the driveway of the flat.

You felt terrible for them. TERRIBLE. "I'm a freaking heart-breaker!" You screamed. "I'm worthless," you cried. You couldn't drive in your emotional state. It wasn't safe. You didn't think about it though as you drove away from the flat.

You continued to drive, not caring about the red light you drove through. Then, you crashed.

You woke up on the pavement. All you could see were flashing lights and all you could hear were faint voices. All you could feel was your aching body and your aching heart. Soon, you blacked out again. You woke up, being rushed into a hospital, heading for the I.C.U. You were bleeding very badly, then you passed out again.

When you came to, you heard the doctor making a phone call from your cellphone. "Yes? Sir, you were the last person she called, I have some bad news," he said as you faded out of consciousness again.

"OH MY GOD SHE'S WHERE?!?" Nathan yelled into the phone. "I'LL BE THERE RIGHT AWAY!!!" Nathan hung up and ran down the stairs. "GUYS, WE HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL!!! SHE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT!!!

Everyone ran towards the car in a panic. Jay and Nathan looked like they were gonna have a heart attack. They all arrived at the hospital. Tom and Siva were trying to calm down the girls, they were crying. Everyone was crying. You had touched their hearts in more ways than one.

Jay and Nathan entered your room, both sobbing. They sat down in the two chairs available in the room, not wanting to disturb you. You were on life support, one small mistake could kill you.

"God..." Nath choked out, bursting into tears.

"We should've stopped her." Jay said, bawling uncontrollably.

"How the hell did this day go so wrong?" Nathan cried.

"...I don't know Nath, I just don't know." Jay whispered.

You were unconscious. Completely unaware that the two boys you loved were in the room. You were also unaware that a doctor entered the room at that moment. The boys sat up, attentive to what the doctor was about to say. "You must be Nathan," the doctor said.

"Yes I am and this is Jay." Nathan said.

"Okay, so it looks like the car accident broke two of her ribs, adding more pain onto her back and abdomen, she is severely bruised and cut, and has a fractured femur." the doctor finished talking.

Nathan ran his hand through his hair. "But is she gonna be okay?" Jay asked.

"We honestly don't know. She suffered some major blows in that accident. If we take her off life support, we would have to operate immediately. If we do it now, there is a greater chance she will live rather than if we choose to do it later. But, if we do it now, there is also a large chance she won't make it. We have to make a decision as soon as possible, for the sake of her life. I'll give you a couple minutes to figure it out."

The doctor walked out of the door as Jay and Nath conversed. "Mate, I'm scared, part of me wants her to get the surgery, but part of me doesn't. I'm extremely scared right now!" Jay said.

"But we can't leave her on life support forever...eventually they'd have to pull the plug. I say we do it," Nathan said hugging Jay for comfort. Jay hugged him back tightly, he was shaking furiously and wouldn't stop sobbing.

"Okay..." Jay whispered.

The doctor came back into the room. "We've decided to go through with the operation," Nathan said as Jay continued sobbing. The nurses then took you off life support and speedily went into the emergency room for the operation.

Nathan and Jay were still in your room. "Mate...is it true that you almost committed suicide?" Nathan asked.

Jay continued to bawl, not wanting to answer the question, totally ignoring it because Nathan would be ashamed of him. "Mate, it's okay, you can tell me," Nathan whispered.

Jay continued to sob, still hugging Nathan, he then whispered a faint "yes."

"Jay..." He said, hugging him back.

"I-I'm sorry I just...I didn't mean it and thought that...i-it would be better if...I was gone." Jay stuttered between sobs.

"Holy shit Jay! You're my best mate!!! Do you realize how much the band, your family, your friends, and the fans care about you! Do you realize how I would react?! Jay, we all love you mate!" Nathan said, tearing up.

"I guess sometimes...i-it doesn't f-feel like I'm loved. I-it seemed like...the only w-way." Jay was bawling uncontrollably now, his eyes very red and puffy.

"Jay, you're the life of the party!! You always make everyone laugh! How do not realize your own self worth?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know...I just don't. I mean it's close to impossible for me to get any girls at all...I make everyone laugh because...i-it shows I'm truly happy when...I'm really not," Jay said.

"Oh Jay...mate I don't even know what to say," Nathan said.

"Then don't say anything...I didn't want to tell anybody because I knew that they couldn't help me," Jay said.

"Jay, we're gonna help you." Nathan said, sternly.

"By what Nath?!?" Jay asked angrily. "By putting me in rehab? Do you really think that I want to do that? If anything, it'll just make the situation worse."

"We're not gonna do that Jay!!! Jay, we love you! And we're gonna make sure you know it!" Nathan said, sending out a tweet unknown to Jay that said, "Jay has been having an All Time Low, PLEASE cheer him up? xx"

The lads' and girls' phones then lit up. They all checked and noticed Nathan's tweet. At that moment, Jay walked out of your room, through the waiting room past everyone, and left the hospital.

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