Almost Is Never Enough || Book I

Chapter 34

Almost Is Never Enough

Chapter 34

You were erratically crying and shaking uncontrollably between your sobs. Nathan tried to soothe you as he rubbed your back and kissed your head. He tightened the hug just a little bit, trying to stop you from crying. Nothing could stop you. You had a complete breakdown.

Your phone then lit up and you checked it, still sobbing. It was from Jay.

Jay: No matter what happens, I'm still going to love you

That just tore you apart as you dropped your phone and continued to cry into Nathan's arms. "I want nothing more than for both of you to hate me right now." You sobbed.

"We could never hate you, and you know that." Nathan said.

"I fucking hate you both for loving me so much," you cried.

"I'm sorry, it's just that we can't control it. If we say we love you, we mean it," Nathan said.

You screamed and hit the wall in frustration. "How am I supposed to choose?!? I'm basically choosing which one of you two I'd rather have commit suicide," you whispered. "

"I'm not going to commit suicide!!!" Nathan said, a shocked look in his eyes.

You were shocked at his outburst. "That's what you were saying to Nareesha." You mumbled.

"Well I'm not! I wasn't thinking clearly." Nathan explained.

"Well what if you're 'not thinking clearly' with a blade in your hands?" You said through tears.

"I'm not going to kill myself!!!" Nathan yelled.

"You better freaking promise me that because I care way too much about you for that to happen!" You said, through torrents of tears.

Nathan walked up to you and hugged you. "I'm not, I promise," he whispered.

"I love you Nathan," you whispered through your tears.

"I love you too," he whispered, kissing your head. "Can I show you something?" He whispered, looking into your eyes. You nodded your head, a little confused.

He led you over the the piano and sat down. He pulled out something scribbled down quickly. "Would you mind singing the higher parts?" He asked. You nodded your head as you smiled at him. He then started playing the piano.

"I'd like to say we gave it a try," you sang, as Nathan harmonized with you. You glanced at the top if the page and saw the title of the song, 'Almost Is Never Enough.' You stopped singing and looked at him, surprised. He wrote a song about you.

He kept singing. "If I could change the world over night...there'd be no such thing as goodbye, you'd be standing right where you were...we'd both get the chance we deserve," Nathan sang, looking directly in your eyes. You were crying at the meaning in the lyrics, the meaning in his eyes.

"Try to deny it as much as you want, but in time our feelings will show..." He continued singing with such emotion and rawness to his voice.

You then sang your part, "'Cause sooner or later, we'll wonder why we gave up, the truth is that everyone knows...almost, almost is never enough," you let a few tears out once you sang that part. "So close to being in love, if I would've known that you wanted me, the way I wanted you. Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms." You and Nathan sang, him looking at you with passion and love and meaning, you in tears.

"'Cause we almost, we almost knew what love was...but almost is never enough," you both sang, and then fell into a silence. He leaned into you, moving his hands away from the piano to your cheeks, caressing them.

He gently kissed you. You kissed him back before pulling away, staring into his eyes, breathless. He leaned into you again, not putting his tongue in or kissing you roughly. He just leaned in as his soft lips met yours. Your hand grazed the back of his neck as his was at the small of your back. You broke apart for just a moment, staring into each other's eyes. He then hugged you. "I've missed you so much," he whispered. "And I know this is making your life harder, and I'm sorry...but this almost will never be enough for me."

"I'm sorry too Nathan," you said sympathetically.

"For what?" He asked.

"Choosing Jay. I know it's killing you, but I'm sorry." You said, holding his hand.

He looked at you sadly. "It's okay. He's the one you want. I've known him for 5 years and he deserves someone as amazing as you," he said.

"Oh Nathan," you said as you hugged him. "Please don't act like it's not hurting you at all because I know you. I know when you're in pain and right now is one of those times."

"Yes it is, but I can't make you cry..." He said, holding back his tears.

"I don't like making you cry either. If I had a choice to choose both of you I would, believe me I would, it's just that it's not possible." You said, trying to hold back tears also.

Nathan pulled you in for a hug. You hugged him back, then pull away to hold his hand. "I love you. I hope you know that if it doesn't work out between me and Jay and you're still single, I promise I'll come back for you...and I'll wear that ring too." You said with a smile.

He smiled at you and kissed you on the lips. "And I'll be waiting in a tux," he said.

"I hope so," you said with a smile.

"And I'll do this," he said, picking you up bridal style.

"And then I'll do this," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him.

"And I'll be waiting," Nathan said with a smile, kissing you back.

"And so will I...always," you mumbled against his lips.

Nathan sat you down. "Who's that from? It's pretty." Nathan asked, pointing at your necklace, not reading what was engraved.

You looked away for a second. "Jay," you said, blushing a bit. It was just a necklace, but for some reason you were being really awkward about it.

Nathan held it in his hands, looking at it closer. "To my lovely, Jay." He couldn't help but smile a little, starting to warm up to the idea of you two together. You smiled back at him and he took your hand and kissed it. "You make him so happy," he said, "thank you."

You smiled at him. "I should probably go back to the hospital to check up on him. Would you like to come?" You asked sweetly.

"Umm..." He stuttered, unsure.

"Please? It doesn't have to be for him, do it for me. He misses you." You said.

"Okay," Nathan smiled. You took his hand and led him to the car.

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Song: Almost Is Never Enough-Ariana Grande & Nathan Sykes