Almost Is Never Enough || Book I

Chapter 123

Almost Is Never Enough

Chapter 123

*Meanwhile with you*

You sat down in Dr. Brewer's room, waiting for him to arrive. He eventually did and greeted you with a handshake. "Alright shall we begin?" He asked.

You nodded and he began looking through your files. "So it says here in the last months you've tried to commit suicide and have been to the hospital numerous times. Why is that?" He asked.

You fidgeted in your seat. "I hated myself, for what I did to others. Especially Jay," you said, trying to remain calm.

"And Jay is your boyfriend, correct?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," you said.

"So what did you do to him?" The doctor asked.

You sighed, feeling awful about all that you had done. "I've cheated on him...more than once."

"Do you mind if I ask with who? And why?" The doctor asked.

"With two of his bandmates, Nathan and Max. Nathan is my ex. For the times that I did cheat with both of them, I was drunk. I know it's no excuse to do that to him and that's why I feel awful," you said.

"So you've had history with Nathan? Why the sudden switch to Jay?" He asked.

You sighed, knowing you'd have to tell him everything. "Because one day at the beach he confessed that he's been in love with me since the first day he met me. Then so many things happened and I was forced to choose between him and Nathan," you said.

"And you chose him. Why?" He asked.

"Because I felt a closer connection with him. It was also because we were both suicidal and I wanted him to stop. He hasn't acted suicidal since I've chosen him though," you said.

"So was it just based off of making him stop? If he wasn't suicidal, would you have chosen Nathan?" Dr. Brewer asked.

"I wouldn't know to be honest. But after all that's happened, I'm happy with Jay," you said.

The doctor nodded and wrote some more notes down. "So how has your relationship with Jay been going? Are there any major complications?" He asked.

"Besides me cheating on him?" You said bitterly, "No. Nothing really."

"How has he reacted to you cheating on him?" He asked.

"He...he always forgives me. But I know he's hurt." You choked, fighting back tears.

"That's reasonable. Have you tried anything to help compensate for it or show regret?" He asked.

"Besides trying to kill myself?" You said, crying bitter tears, "I've been spending all of my days with him. And I even wrote ten pages of 'I love you' over and over."

He nodded, writing down some notes. "And how has Nathan been with all of this? It probably wasn't easy letting you go."

"It wasn't whatsoever for him," you said, "and I feel awful."

"Well I'm guessing it wasn't an easy decision," he said.

"It was a really hard decision to make. And I'm still in love with Nath, and he's still in love with me." You said.

"Then why didn't you choose Nathan if you both are still in love with each other? Was the idea of Jay committing suicide holding you back from choosing him instead?" He asked.

"No, I'm in love with Jay too," you said, very confused once more.

"How can you be in love with two people? You can only give that kind of love to one person. That's the person you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with," Dr. Brewer said.