Almost Is Never Enough || Book I

Chapter 108

Almost Is Never Enough

Chapter 108

Nathan put his boxers on and ran into your room after you. "I'm so sorry, love. It's all my fault," he said, hugging you.

You didn't respond, you just kept crying, now into Nathan's chest. "Shhhh beautiful..." He said, hoping you would be so drunk you wouldn't remember in the morning.

"I hate my life," you sobbed.

"Shhh love, you're drunk. It's not your fault," Nathan said, patting your back comfortingly.

"Yes it is! I screw everything up," you cried.

"Love, we don't have to tell him," Nathan said.

"Yes we do. I cheated on him again!" You said, crying even harder.

"You can blame it all on me," Nathan said, "say I took advantage of your drunkenness, say I forced you to."

"I can't let you do that, Nathan. It's my fault too," you said. "In fact, I started it. You were trying to stop it from happening, but I was being a slut as usual."

"You're not a slut," Nathan said.

"Yes I am! Nathan, I gave you a blowjob after I had just been 'in love' with Jay!" You said.

"You were still drunk, you had no control over what you did. If anything, it's my fault for letting you instead of taking you to bed," Nathan said.

You kept crying. "You don't understand! I shouldn't have even wanted to do that!"

"What's done is done. We have to forget about it," Nathan said.

"Nathan, I can't keep wanting to...to do things with you that I should be doing with Jay. It's unnatural." You said.

"I know...and I should have stopped you," Nathan said.

"Nathan, what if we had gone further?" You said, wiping tears from your eyes.

"We wouldn't have. It would've clicked pretty fast that what we were doing was wrong," Nathan said.

"But what if you had been drunk too?" You whispered.

"I don't know...we probably would have," Nathan said sadly.

"Do you see what I'm saying?" You said. You stood up and and started throwing clothes in a bag.

Nathan walked over and took the bag away from you. "You're not leaving," Nathan said. "I won't ever let you."

"I can't stay here and break his heart over and over again. He deserves someone who won't cheat on him." You said, wiping tears away.

"Remember one of the times that you left? You got into a car crash and basically put Jay and I into an emotional mess. I won't let you leave," Nathan said.

"Nathan, I have to..." You said, tears streaming down your face.

"No you don't. Just tell him. He'll forgive you, won't he?" Nathan said.

"I don't know Nathan...we just got in a huge fight over me not being faithful," you said, continuing to pack.

Nathan got in front of your bag, stopping you from putting more clothes into it. "He will forgive you. Sure he'll be hurt, but he never wants to lose you, ever. He won't give up on you," Nathan said.

"N-Nath," you stuttered, "I don't want to leave. Hell, I don't know if I can. I'm in love with him, but I have to try. I have to try and give him a better life," you said, reaching around him and grabbing your bag. You ran down the stairs.

"Love wait!!!" Nathan yelled as he caught up to you, blocking the door. "You'll practically kill him if you leave. He was such a mess those three weeks you were in a coma. What do you think it'll be like if you left him for good? He'll kill himself," Nathan said.

"What do you think I'm going to do the second I leave?" You said, "the exact same thing! But he has you guys to keep him safe, so he'll live, find someone and be happy."

"You are his someone! You're his only one and I can't let you do this!" Nathan yelled.

You stood there for a moment, shocked at his yelling. You looked down at your wrist with the odd, almost cut marks. "He'll find someone who deserves him more," you said, before pushing Nath out of the way and starting to walk down the path.

"Love! Get back here!" Nathan yelled, running after you until he finally caught up to you. He turned you around and hugged you tightly. "I swear to god if you leave one more time I'll kill myself. Do you understand?" He asked.

"Nathan...don't do that. You're not the one who deserves to die," you said.

Nathan laughed bitterly. "Without you I am." He said. "I think you know very well I felt...how I feel about you."

"I do, but I can't just sit here and cheat on Jay all the time. It's not fair to you or him," you said.

"Then I'll leave.." Nathan said.

"I don't want you to leave. I'm the one who should be going, not you," you said.

"No," Nathan said, "if I leave it'll be easier for you. You'll forget about me and you won't cheat on Jay anymore."

"Nathan, you don't get it. If you leave I'll think about you all the time because you are gone," you said.

Nathan started laughing insanely. "I'm in the middle of the street in my boxers," he said, "but I don't care. I need you to stay with me, with us." He caressed your cheek softly with one hand, the other one running up and down your back.

"But...why? All I've done is ruined everyone's lives. Nothing good has come out of having me here," you said, letting a few tears fall.

"Nothing good?" Nathan said, "you saved Jay's life!" He said, as he brushed your tears away with his thumb.

"But I'm basically going to kill him once he finds out that I cheated on him...again," you said sadly.

"He'll get over it. I know Jay, and I can feel how much he loves you. He wants to marry you, and nothing is going to stop him from loving you. Ever." Nathan said.

"That's not true," you said, as more tears fell down your cheeks.

"It is..." He whispered, hugging you tightly. "Look at us, half naked in the middle of the street," he laughed.

You gave him a small smile which quickly disappeared. You hugged Nathan back and rested your head against his chest. He kissed the top of your head. "Let's go back inside. We can tell or not tell Jay tomorrow, together," he said.

You slightly nodded your head and walked back to the flat together. Nathan paused outside the door and squeezed your hand comfortingly, before leaning in and kissing your cheek. You gave Nathan a small smile before walking inside. He led you back up to Jay's room and laid down with you, hugging you and humming to try and make you fall asleep. Within a few minutes, you were fast asleep. Nathan got up from your bed, kissed your forehead, and closed the door slowly before walking back to his room.

He laid down on his bed, completely confused and worried. He heard you say something and walked back into the room. "I can't sleep. I keep having dreams of losing Jay..." You said.

"That'll never happen," Nathan said, hugging you until you both fell asleep.

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