Double Down Demons (A Ghost Adventures/Zak Bagans Story)

Chapter 55: Internal struggle

As soon as we exit the hotel I start feeling so much better and perk up enough to joke around with Aaron my wing man as we take a walking tour of the town. Zak raises a questioning eyebrow but I just shrug, I don't know, maybe I needed that nap more than I realised. We find a cute little restaurant and sit down to eat. Zak maps out the coming days, were going to be exceptionally busy with a few locations to explore. The main investigations will be at the hotel and the old disused railway tunnel but with a couple of other buildings to look into its going to be full on.

After dinner the boys head straight back to the hotel but Zak and I decide to take a detour around another part of town before turning in for the night.

"Are you absolutely sure you're ok?" He asks me again as we meander past the church.

"I really am Zak, I think I just really needed that nap is all." I insist and thankfully he changes the subject. However, as we get closer to the hotel my anxiety builds once more and as soon as we walk through the door my unease returns. Yet I still can't place what it is exactly that is making me feel this way. I think about talking to Zak about it but it seems silly to be bothering him with it when we have such a busy schedule ahead of us. So I put on a brave face and try to act as normal as possible. However I'm not sure my acting is too good as I often catch Zak watching me but I don't feel like I want to let him know that I'm not as ok as I have been trying to convey.

We take a relatively early night and I sleep fitfully. A heaviness seems to bear down on me and I feel suffocated, uncomfortable and inexplicably sad. I fidget all through the night and am grateful that I don't wake Zak although I feel his grip tighten on me as I start awake for the umpteenth time. Eventually as the grey of the dawn light brightens to the gold of full sunrise I give in and go take a shower. Its so early that there is no rush and I take my time revelling in the waterfall of soothing hot water. I breathe in the scented steam and will myself to relax and snap out of my funk. I dry my hair and eventually emerge wrapped in one of the fluffy robes that I found hung on the back of the door. Zak is still fast asleep and hugging my pillow in my absence, I watch him for a moment and my heart nearly bursts out of my chest just at the sight of him. I crawl into bed behind him and wrap myself around his body, all of a sudden I'm terrified that I'm about to lose him and cling to him for dear life. I must squeeze a little to tightly as he wakes up and lifts my arm from his chest and struggles to turn to face me.

"Hey,' He smiles sleepily, "What's up?"

"You looked cold." I don't hesitate to lie, not wanting to bare my irrational thoughts and fears to him. He checks the clock and frowns to see that its barely 7.30am.

"Ok now I know something is definitely wrong you're never up this early." He only half jokes.

"I just couldn't sleep ok?!" I tell him curtly and he shrinks back a little from my irritation.

"Ok sweetie, I worry about you that's all." I bring my hand to my forehead and rub my temples trying to relieve some of the tension.

"Sorry love I'm tired and headachey and being a grouch, I didn't mean to snap." I apologise. He kisses me gently on my temple tenderly but I know I see worry and even a flash of frustration in his eyes as he gets up to go to the bathroom.

We get ready without talking, performing a carefully choreographed dance around the room so as not to get in each others' way. I dress in boots, jeans and long hooded asymmetric sweatshirt as it was chillier here inland. Zak was dressed in boots, jeans, hoodie and beanie, both of us in black from head to toe. At least it matches my mood I huff to myself. Zak reaches for my hand as we meet the boys downstairs and go to the local cafe for breakfast. My black mood follows me this time and I remain silent listening to them as they banter around me noticing that Zak doesn't have much to say either. I find that I don't have much of an appetite and push my food around my plate but take full advantage of the bottomless coffee even though it was pretty bad. Aaron, Jay and Billy each try and entice me out of my shell but I avoid being engaged in conversation. I notice Aaron raise his eyebrows at Zak in question, Zak shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders, obviously just as confused as Aaron. I pretend not to see I can't figure out what is going on myself, where the hell do I even begin to start explaining it to him?