Double Down Demons (A Ghost Adventures/Zak Bagans Story)

Chapter 59: Apologies and explanations

I awake to Zak awkwardly talking in the phone as I cling to him my head resting on his chest. I stretch tentatively, wincing at the pain in my ankle and palms.

"Hey she's just woken up, we'll come by and pick you up soon ok? Cool bro, bye." Zak finishes his call and turns to me.

"How are you doing sweetie?" He searches my face, his eyes full of concern. I crick my neck and take a deep breath.

"I'm ok. All things considered I really am alright." I'm somewhat surprised by how much better, calmer and rational I feel. "My hands and ankle are kind of sore, but I'm mostly worried about what I said to you!" I say the horror hitting me as some of the scenes from the previous day flash through my mind making me screw up my face. Zak shocks me by bursting into laughter, I'm so confused!

"What's so funny?" I ask as he calms down and pulls me into a hug.

"Do you know how I know you're feeling better?" I shake my head in answer. "I know because despite the fact that you've just been through a very traumatic experience you're more worried about me than what happened to you." He shakes his head in wonder still smiling.

"Well yeah, I was a complete bitch to you and acting all kinds of crazy! I'm surprised your still here and still seem to like me for some reason I probably would have left my ass in that tunnel." I say still confused.

"Hey!" He turns towards me. "I love you! Even if all of that had actually been all of you, which for the record I don't think it was, but even if it had that wouldn't have been enough to push me away, not nearly enough."

"Really? Cos I was pretty horrible and you were getting so frustrated with me." I look down trying to block the pain of the memory of how Zak had looked at me as we argued.

"I know and I'm so sorry honey, but like I don't think you were yourself, now being away from it I can see I wasn't feeling like myself the whole time we were there too. I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you better when you were so obviously struggling, you shouldn't be too happy with me right now in all honesty, I should have recognised the signs and got us out and protected you sooner." I slap him gently on the shoulder, and suck the air in through my teeth grabbing my hand having momentarily forgotten about the wounds on my palm. Zak takes my hand gently in his.

"Hey careful! What was that for anyway?" He asks, now its his turn to be confused.

"The way I was acting I'm surprised you didn't tell me where to go and just leave me behind. You showed a lot of understanding and restraint, you could have reacted to me so much worse and would have been justified to do so. You tried hard to support me and get through to me, I'm so grateful that you did." He just shakes his head again and I know that he doesn't believe what I say and will continue thinking the worst of himself as usual. He comes across as cocky and so sure of himself on TV and his social media but in reality his self esteem is pretty low, I really wish he saw what I could see in him. Nothing more I say will convince him otherwise though and it makes me sad so in lieu of the right words I reach out to stroke his face and pull him to me to kiss him soft and slow, taking my time to rediscover his lips. As we pull apart he sighs and smiles.

"I've missed that!" He says and I return his smile shyly. "Are you up to telling me about what happened?" He asks me apprehensively, I nod, I think it might actually help to make sense of it all. I start from when we first entered the hotel and my feeling of unease and my growing feelings of melancholy, frustration and anger and worst of all the irritation I felt at him just by being there. I described the claustrophobia and explained how the arguments started, I told him it all up until we entered the tunnel. I explained what triggered my need to get away from them all and what happened when I was alone. He listened intently as I told him how I was over come by the sense of despair and grief and how I was convinced he would get hurt if he came close to me, that I would drag him down with me and there would be no coming back from it. I felt like I was being swallowed up by the darkness and hopelessness and it was only his insistence on holding on to me that dragged me back and snapped me out of it. Finally explaining that I hadn't been able to go back to the hotel because I knew being there would enable what ever it was to take hold again.

Zak didn't say anything and he worried me briefly until he pulled me to him once more, I settled into him content to absorb his warmth and process everything that had happened. Eventually he speaks.

" Tracy, you must tell me anytime you feel these things! I can't help you if you don't tell me!" He implores, I lower my eyes sheepishly. "I have no idea how or why but I think something in the hotel allowed our little demon friends to have some fun with us. Maybe there is a portal there or something, I don't know. I was lucky not to feel it as badly as you but it definitely influenced me too. I'm probably just lucky that I have more experience in warding myself against it so it couldn't get to me so bad. But you would have been fair game for them. I'm sorry sweetie I should have realised."  I shiver at the thought of how bad it could have been had Zak not been as accomplished at blocking the energies. "Now all our investigations are over we really need to concentrate on figuring out what the hell is going on." I nod I agreement hoping that there was even a solution to the problem, whatever it may be.