Troublemaker [[JHS]] ✔️

67

-SENSITIVE SCENE AHEAD ABOUT SELF HARM. READ WITH CAUTION-

I was crying silently, just waiting for it to kick in. It wouldn't be much longer. It was just a matter of time before everything began to hurt but I was going to welcome it with open arms. I could only take so much and I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to stop it.

I had to end it all.

The world didn't need me anymore. I just wanted my brother. I wanted to be with my brother. It wasn't anyone's fault that I felt like this. It wasn't my friend's fault. It wasn't Hoseok's fault. It had been too long and I had tried to stay strong for too long. I wasn't going to hold myself back anymore. It had to happen. 

It wasn't Hoseok's fault. I could never blame him for me being weak. Being heartbroken just made it worse for me. I just hoped that he didn't blame himself. I mean, the note I wrote even explained everything. It wasn't his fault. It was my fault for being so weak.

The world wasn't right for me and I wasn't right for the world. We just didn't get on.

I closed my eyes and laid down, waiting for the time to come.

I couldn't stop being sick. It was like my body didn't want this. My body rolled as I threw up once more and I curled into a ball, shivering even though my body was hot. I was so dizzy and I couldn't see straight. My heart was racing and it felt like it didn't stop for one beat. I lifted my hand to wipe my mouth and it shook.

"F-fuck," I choked out and I closed my eyes.

Floating.

It felt like I was floating above the clouds and my body felt numb. I didn't feel sick anymore. There was no pain in my chest and I felt warm. I was comfortable. Like, I was being hugged tightly. I tried to move but I couldn't. My arms felt trapped and my legs felt too weak to move.

When I tried to open my eyes, they were glued shut. My mouth was parted and dry. I couldn't speak.

This wasn't what I expected from death and I began to panic. 

It hadn't worked. 

The pills didn't help.

I felt a sharp pain and my head began to spin, and then I felt nothing.

Voices. 

I could hear voices.

They weren't in my head. Who's were they?

What was going on? I couldn't respond to them. I couldn't move. I couldn't move my mouth. I was numb. 

"What happens now?" 

"We wait until she is more stable"

"What happens if she doesn't become stable? What will you do then?"

"I understand that you are upset, but we need to-"

"What the fuck will happen to her!"

"Sir, she overdosed on someone else's medication," The man said, "We pumped her stomach and help her breathe again. We are doing everything we can for her. You will have to remain patient. We will do everything we can to make sure she is stable enough to wake her up"

"Fuck!"

I could hear voices again. They sounded sad.

"Did you not think Hoseok?" The girl said, "Why didn't you think? You shouldn't have left her!"

"Hana, I was scared. I was scared of what Ami was going to do. You think I wanted this to happen?" Hoseok said, and my heart felt like it burnt "I love Harley but I didn't want this to happen. This is all my fault"

"It isn't your fault," Another voice said, "This was her own doing. You read the note. She couldn't take it anymore"

"I shouldn't have kicked her out of my room. I should have told Ami to fuck off"

"Ami will get what's coming to her. I'll be the one to bring karma to her early. Sister or not, that bitch is going down. She's taken things too far and I will happily go to jail for snapping her neck"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

That was annoying.

A small groan parted my lips and I numbly lifted my hand to try and slap the alarm off. But when I moved my arm, it stung like something was in it. I reached across with my other arm and yanked on whatever was in my arm, but there was a sudden alarm and it was loud. And annoying.

I slowly opened my eyes, but it was too bright. I tried to call for help but something was in my throat. I screamed as much as I could and I suddenly felt hands all over me. I fought them off weakly.

"Sedate her," A voice said, "She woke up earlier than expected"

I grunted quietly as something went into my arm and my head span, and everything went dark.

When I reopened my eyes, the light wasn't blinding and whatever was in my throat was gone. I lifted my heavy arm and touched my face. I pulled off what was covering my mouth and I looked around.

Fuck.

I was in a hospital.

It didn't work. I sighed painfully and tried to sit up, but my body wasn't cooperating with me. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to sit up. My bed was surrounded by machines and there was an IV in my arm. The oxygen mask was now sitting on my lap and I wanted to throw it across the room. 

But someone's head caught my attention. He was sleeping in the corner of the room covered by his jacket. My eyes filled with tears and I started to cry. The boy shifted in his sleep and he groaned, stretching his arms high above his head. He yawned and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Shit," He mumbled "I won't be sleeping like that again"

He ruffled his hair and he looked up. His eyes widened and he ran over to me, bringing me into a hug.

"Harley!" He cried, "You're awake! You're finally awake. Shit. I'm so fucking happy you're awake"

I held onto him as I cried and I could feel his tears wet my neck "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I, I didn't, I just, I couldn't do it anymore!"

"Baby," Hoseok said, holding my face in his hands "No one blames you. We blame ourselves"

I held onto his hands and cried more "I'm sorry. I-I should have a-asked for help!"

"Shh," He said, kissing me quickly "You're alive. That's all that matters...I'm the one who should be saying sorry. I ran away because I was scared. Harley, I love you and I'm sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have-"

"I love you Hoseok!" I cried, "I-I just can't stand that bitch!"

Hoseok laughed slightly "Yeah, well that bitch won't be getting in the way anymore"