A light || Ricky and Nini

Chapter 25

Nini POV

It was the day after Valentine's Day, and I woke up nauseous and hot. I never get sick so my first instinct was fear. Sometimes though, when I'm about to get my period I get these symptoms and I tried to stay in my rational mind. That fear continued to grow though when I got a notification from my period app telling me I'm 4 days late. I was starting to go into panic mode. My hands were shaking and I felt like crying. I had to calm myself down though, because I didn't know for sure. I had a two hour delay before school started, so I tried to plan and calm myself down enough to leave the house and buy a pregnancy test. It felt like days had passed as I stood in my bathroom, 45 minutes before going to school. I held the test in my hand, and as I turned it over at the two minute mark I almost threw up right there. The test fell out of my hand and I collapsed on the floor. Fuck no. I'm 16.

School passed in a daze. I was between crying and vomitting all day and it was like I was having an out of body experience. It felt like my world was spinning throughout the day and I spent lunch in the bathroom, handing out excuses to my friends, via text, all day for my state of being. Theater rehearsals were this afternoon though, and I knew I just had to get through two hours and then I'd be home free. It didn't go like that though. When I walked into the theater room Ricky stood up from th for piano, and came up to me to give me a big hug. I smiled my best and leaned into his scent, savoring it while I could. He'd leave. I know he will when he finds out. My hands begin to shake and my chest is tightening. I'm heaving for a breath and I see a flash of Ricky before he's leaning down in front of me. "Nini? Nini come on, breathe with me." His hands are wrapped around mine tightly and I look into his eyes, trying to match his breathing. When I'm sure my breathing has turned to normal I look up at him softly, and he wraps his arms around me. "Jesus Christ Nini, what was that?" I couldn't tell him. "Homework related panic attack" I lie. He wraps his arms around me and we take deep breaths together. I know he doesn't believe me but he doesn't press. The rest of the group walks in moments later, taking their seats in their chairs and I sigh, waiting to get the two hours over with. As everyone waits for Miss Jenn, the gang starts pestering EJ about his college acceptances. College. I couldn't go with a baby. Oh my god I won't be going to college! I thought to myself. My stomach begins churning. My life is falling apart right before my eyes and no one knows. I get the now-familiar urge to throw up again and my eyes are about ready to spill from tears. I can't hold it all in. I jump up from my seat and run. I run to the single person restroom on the second floor. I don't look to see if anyone's following and I let my tears fall as I reach the bathroom and I run in, collapsing onto the floor and hurling (literally nothing) into the toilet. I'm sobbing and I can't control anything which makes me feel helpless. I hear a light tap on the door and I realized as the handle turned, that I didn't lock it. "Nini?" That soft velvet voice rings through quietly, and I hear Ricky repeat my name. I know he's realized it's unlocked but he's waiting for confirmation to come in. "Fuck it" I hear him say. He opens the door, only by a little bit, slips in and closes it. He locks the door and turns to me and takes in the sight. He rushes forward, collecting me into his arms and cradling my body in his. He's rocking me back and forth, rubbing his hands up and down my back and making soothing sounds into my ear. It makes me cry harder and I start to have trouble breathing again. Ricky places his hand above my heart to feel my heart racing and once again he starts his soothing touch and tells me to breathe with him. After my breathing returns to normal he breaks the silence. "What's going on baby?" He says so quietly while continuing to rock my body back and forth. There's no sense in hiding it anymore. "I'm pregnant." I say quietly between sobs. "Oh my god" he says turning me around. "Oh my god are you okay? Are you sure?" His eyes are filled with concern but his hands have tightened on mine and I hope this is a sign of him staying. "I took a test this morning" I tell him, not able to meet his eyes. He tilts my chin up, "just one?" He asks. "Well yeah-" I say confused. "False positive?" He says so quietly I almost don't hear him. "Maybe? But I'm late and I've been vomiting" "we don't know for sure" he says. "But if it's for sure, you can bet your ass I'm not going anywhere." He says, wiping my tears. I nod sadly and allow him to pull me up. I flush the toilet, and walk over to the sink, leaning over it. Ricky's behind me, and he pulls me into his front, and we stay there. His head is resting on mine, and we're wrapped in each other. "Whatever happens, we're doing it together" he whispers. I nod and take a deep breath.

Ricky shot EJ a text telling him that I was sick, and that Ricky was taking me home. Truthfully, we were outside of the drug store. "I'll go in." I told Ricky. I didn't want to be spotted buying pregnancy tests with Ricky. He nods and kisses my temple. I come back 10 minutes later with 15 different tests hoping that taking them was going to be quick and thorough. When we got home Ricky and I were relieved to see a note that said my moms wouldn't be home for dinner. He and I ran up to my room, and he sat on my bed as I took every test that I bought in my bathroom. I was so scared, and I was shaking violently inside the bathroom and I couldn't tell if I was cold or scared or just having another attack and I slid down the wall as I waited for the tests. I let out a loud sob, as my heart pounded and there was a knock at the door as Ricky came in. He sat against the wall, pulling me between his legs. We sat in silence but we clutched each other's hand, each drawing circles with our thumbs to calm each other. As I leaned my head back, I felt his heart pounding too. My phone timer went off and I let out an actual whimper from fear. "It's okay" Ricky whispered. "I'll check." I moved out from within his legs as he looked at every test. I squeezed my eyes together, my entire body clenching in fear. His hands wrap around my arms, and his fingetips move up to my shoulders. "Nins" he says. I don't budge. "Nini, babe, it's okay, relax." I open my eyes, and he holds up one negative test after another. 15 in a row. I cry out throwing my arms around him, somehow still sobbing just from relief. "I'm right here and you're okay" Ricky tells me as he rubs my back. When I calm down, I pull back and put my head in his shoulder. "Why have I been throwing up so much today?" I ask, more to myself then him. "You said you sometimes get sick around your period?" He asks me. "Well yeah, but I got sick like 5 times today." You've been worked up since 6 am. You're body has been stressed out to its limit, and you were sobbing uncontrollably in the bathroom." I look into his eyes and realize his explanation makes sense. I remain collapsed in his arms. "Jesus fucking Christ it's been a day" he says into my neck. "Can't even imagine what it was like for you Nins." I look at him smiling softly. "I spent the whole day on a bathroom floor of some kind" He smiles and holds me tighter. "And we're so careful" he says to me. "I know. We always make sure we're being cautious of it." I tell him. "Let's just keep being careful" I giggle for the first time today. I look into his eyes, and move forward to rest my forehead against his. A moment passes and then I say "Alright babe, head down for dinner I'm gonna clean up these tests." He nods and heads out and I feel that feeling. I groan and sit on the toilet to reveal, that my beautiful period has decided to show up. Womderul