A light || Ricky and Nini

Chapter 198

Ricky POV

"Can I ask you a question Ricky?" I turn and give my mom a little nod. "How would you have reacted if we had decided to go back to Chicago?" I furrow my eyebrows. "Like permanently? Is that what you want to do?" She shakes her head frantically. "No baby, I mean, if we had decided not to move here, would you have been upset?" I laugh a little in relief and look at Lucas who had found his place back in our mom's arms. "I mean yeah, I've never hated you or wanted you to move away if that's what you think. I'm just... fuck." I mutter, rubbing my hands against my palms, completely acknowledging that I can't be heartfelt with her to save my life. She gives me a pointed look at my swearing and I bite my lip to stop from smiling. "I'm getting this baby headphones to wear around you." She says and I laugh, the air already less serious and tense. "Mom I'm usually just hurt. Whenever we part ways after seeing each other again it's like a tornado has come through, and everything I've ever known is up and destroyed." I gesture widely and she bites her lip, nodding sadly. "I mean first it was the divorce, and then you showed up at the musical, and then that one time you appeared back at home that actually prompted dad to ask if I wanted a restraining order against you, and then your wedding invitation, and then your actual wedding... mom it's been endless." I admit, a little breathless. She nods along and her hand comes across to squeeze my own. "I don't have the best communication it seems." I laugh at her response and push my hair off my forehead. "Yeah well I can't blame you for that. It sucks to not be able to communicate. And then all of a sudden the damage is done and you're left wondering how in the fucking hell you've lost everything, how it's all destroyed in just a few words." I talk more to the wall, slipping into the memories of the times I've been unable to say and do what I feel, almost all the instances related to being with Nini. My mom squeezes my hand and pulls me out of my deep thoughts. "This is everything you've been wanting to say." She blatantly says, not even in question and I shrug. "You're never this honest with me." She speaks again and I bite back a smile. "That's because you're quick to invite me to weddings and tell me about new babies. You don't just chill." I give into a laugh and she grins, scrunching her nose at me. "I promise I'll 'chill' from now on." I smile back and nod. "Believe me, that's really appreciated mom."

"Hey honey, I don't mean to interrupt I just want to make sure you're doing okay?" Todd walks into the room, seemingly nervous as he continues to flit his eyes from me to her. "Yeah darling I'm doing just fine." At that, she squeezes my hand and Todd looks relieved, as if he thought there was a possibility I was causing problems with her. "Wanna chill with us? We're kinda just staring at the baby." I surprise myself with my own words, and Todd looks even more shocked. Even though he and I have made an effort more lately, there was still a boundary between us, like I was just my mom's son, and he was just her new husband. "Yeah and swearing in front of him. Getting those complex words in early." My mom adds and I squint at her, trying to contain my smile. "I'd love to, but Ricky I'd appreciate it immensely if you teach him alphabetically, that way he's really being challenged." I grin as Todd takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "Will do dude, but I'm worried I started out of order so I can just-" My mom interrupts me. "Richard baby, shut up." I grin and continue to instigate. "Actually, that's, shut the f-" Todd surprises me by pointing at her and saying the exact same words as me before my mom cuts us off. "You two will be out of this room if you finish that sentence." Todd raises a single eyebrow and holds out his fist for me to bump.