A light || Ricky and Nini

Chapter 66

Nini POV

"She wanted to come up here and see you" Ricky says, trying to break the silence that has fallen over us. I nod and look at the door. "Yeah it was good to see her." I tell him and he nods. He shifts on his feet and I say the first thing that comes to mind."Perfect timing too, I didn't have to lay on the floor for too long." I say with a laugh, more to myself than to him. He looks confused. "Oh I fell" I laugh lightly gesturing to the ground and concern seeps into his eyes. "Oh my god are you okay? You could've yelled for me, I was just downstairs." He says rushing over to the bed but keeping his distance. I meet his soft, earnest eyes and shake my head. "No you weren't. Not the Ricky I love, at least." I say and emotion clouds his eyes and he looks like he's about to cry. "Nini I was an idiot." He starts to say and I shake my head. "Why didn't you tell me she has a girlfriend?" I ask ignoring his comment. His eyes are pleading and I wait for his answer. He stands there for a second but answers with certainty. "Because it shouldn't matter. I shouldn't have behaved like that in the first place, what would it matter that she's not attracted to me?" I look down at my sheets and trace the patterns with my index finger. "Why do you keep holding all this information from me, Ricky? It's just not fair-" he cuts me off and this time, comes over to sit on my bed. "I know Nini. I know I've been so unfair. It's just, the second I knew you didn't know everything I jumped to keep you ignorant. I knew I had to try harder, to think more and I thought I had a good escape. I just couldn't bare to hurt you, and you might not believe it but that's true. I can't even imagine saying those words to you." I only nod, trying to put together parts of his rambling. "What have you been thinking up here?" He asks me softly and pleading, trying to get me to talk. He takes a bold leap of faith and grabs my hand. "I've been thinking about how I'm tired of being hurt. But I guess that's just part of a relationship." His thumb rubs over my hand and for a split second I revel in the fact that I no longer feel disgusted. He knows what he did and he's willing to rectify that. His hand in mine feels right and I know that I have to stop replaying the past. I have to give him a chance. Natalie had told me that he and I were unbreakable and as I hold his hand, I notice that she's right. "Are you still in?" He asks, his voice breaking, referring to our relationship. He grips my hand a bit tighter as he waits for my response and I know that tears are forming in my eyes. "Of course" I say and my voice breaks too. I see him nod, hearing him let out a breath. He doesn't move for a second but as I keep staring at the sheets, proving to him I'm not moving, he scoots into the bed slowly. He regards me carefully as he sits next to me and I turn to look at him. His leg is brushed up against mine and the contact makes my heart pound. He's being extra careful around me and as we make eye contact, he brings a hand over to brush his fingertips over my cheek. "I'm sorry Nini. I'm so sorry for acting poorly and yelling at you. I'm sorry for causing you pain. God I love you so much, you don't deserve this pain I'm putting you through." He says and slowly, I move my arms. He thinks I'm moving away and his facial expression grows dim but with my little physical strength left, I lift myself into his lap and I bring my arms around his neck. He's shocked and his brown eyes widen as he runs his hands over my back firmly. He situates himself the second he regains his bearings, and he leans into me. "I think we need to start over. Pretend like these last few days didn't happen... well after I'm better of course." I tell him. Tears slip from his eyes and he nods frantically. "Yes. Yes. Nini please." He says, his voice breaking and I nod, carefully bringing our foreheads together. "I can't promise you I'll never hurt you Nini, but I'll promise you that I'm going to try and be the best version of myself for you." I nod against his head and I smile, letting one of my tears slip. We're going to be okay. I bring my fingertips to run through his hair. He sighs against me and holds me tighter.

We sit together for a few minutes, and while it doesn't feel awkward, things just don't seem quite right. It feels like there's some unspoken wedge between us. As if he reads my mind, Ricky's hands begin to move over my body and I rub at the base of his neck. "Can I kiss you" he whispers against my lips. My mind runs for a second, and then I nod. Without any hesitation, he presses his lips against mine, sighing into the kiss and tightening his grip on my body. He takes the side of my head in his hands and he kisses me slowly, pulling back, and then catching my lips again. My mouth parts slightly and he runs his tongue across my body lip, earning a shudder from me. Our soft making out turns into something else though. He begins to kiss me with more urgency. Aggression and pain from the last day is being channeled into this kiss and he moves himself against me as his kisses become more and more passionate. I pull back, breathing heavily. "I love you" I say to him. Those three simple words mean everything right now and when he says them back, my heart soars. We could go through hell and still make it back. He tucks my hair behind my ears and smiles at me. Running his thumb over my swollen lips, he kisses my cheek. "You are mine Nina Salazar-Roberts, and that's just how it is." I smile and lean forward to peck his lips, but he pulls me in and deepens the kiss sending butterflies through my stomach. "That's fine with me Richard Bowen."