A light || Ricky and Nini

Chapter 176

Nini POV

I hear my bedroom door creak open and I look up from the piece of paper I was re-reading for the tenth time this evening. My eyes meet Ricky's immediately and I tilt my head. "Did you forget something?" He laughs and shakes his head, coming into my room completely and shutting the door behind him. "Are you insane? You think I'd leave you alone tonight?" My eyes widen and then I smile. "I guess not." He smiles fully and I recognize a plate of fruit in his hands as he walks towards me on my bed. "Whatcha doing baby?" He asks as he gets comfortable next to me. I scoot towards him and rest my head on his shoulder. "Re reading the letter." I answer quietly. His arm comes around me and he rubs the base of my neck which makes me shudder as I can physically feel the tension leaving my body. "Are you going to write back?" He asks quietly and I bite my lip. "I don't know. I probably should shouldn't I?" There's silence, and then he answers quietly. "No. You shouldn't do anything that you don't want to do." I laugh and rub my eyes. "You know he has expectations right? He's seen Momma D's facebook. I'm this perfect daughter in his eyes." Ricky pushes me back and places his hand under my chin so that our eyes meet. "No. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Your idiot sperm donor doesn't get to just show up and stress you out because he figures now's a good time." He says aggressively and I look down at my bed. "You're upset." I simply say and I can almost feel Ricky's body loosen up. "Not at you, baby." I press my forehead against his chest and his arms instinctively wrap around my body so that he can rub my back. "Ricky, I want to cry." I say as the silence presses through my mind and Ricky's hands still on my back before he continues his motions. "That's okay Nins, I'm right here." He breathes out quietly and as I feel a few tears slip and I hold Ricky tighter, I wonder if I should face the feeling in my gut. The one that truly knows what I'm going to do. I ignore it for now though, knowing that I truly don't want to think about what I'll write in my own letter. Because that was the feeling, I was going to write back to my dad.

"Sleep with me?" I ask after I've cried into Ricky enough for one evening. He laughs and presses a number of kisses to my forehead. "You ask like I have any other plans. I'm staying right here Nins." I nod and pull him back so that we can lay near each other. "Life is so unfair." I whisper as I get situated and Ricky's fingers start to rub over my forehead. He doesn't answer, and I lift my hand to grab his, intertwining our fingers tightly. "Do you think you can sit with me when I write my letter?" I ask out of the blue, after a few moments of silence and the bed shifts. I open my eyes to see Ricky leaning over me, shock clear on his face. "I mean of course... but you've decided you want to write back already?" I nod and squeeze my eyes shut. "Yeah I think so. But if I decide not to send the letter then it's no big deal." Ricky lays tightly against my body and presses his nose against my cheek. "That's a good thought. I don't think your brilliant mind will need help though." I laugh despite the seriousness and I turn my body so that we're facing each other. I thread my fingers through the back of his hair and press our foreheads together. "It's good to know you're there though."

I couldn't sleep and it was driving me insane. As the clock reaches 2 am, I begin to accept the fact that sleep isn't coming and I lie with my eyes wide open. I try my best not to toss and turn, so that Ricky can sleep through the night but the sheets are starting to feel too stuffy and hot, and my bedroom is starting to feel warm and claustrophobic. I slowly slip out from underneath Ricky's arms and shrug on my robe. I quietly make my way to my door and open it slowly before creeping down the stairs. I needed to be outside, away from the walls that seemed to be closing in on me. I didn't know where I wanted to go, but it felt like it just had to be anywhere but in this house.

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Sorry this is on the shorter side! Life is still throwing itself at me, so I'm doing what I can. I promise a longer one tomorrow! ❤️