A light || Ricky and Nini

Chapter 155

Nini POV

"EJ what's your deepest secret?" Carlos' voice cuts through the room during the middle of the movie and EJ looks up in surprise. He doesn't question why, knowing spontaneity is just part of the group. "Sometimes I'd wish Ashlyn's parents were mine. I was alone so much growing up that I was really jealous that Ash got the parents she did." We don't miss Gina pushing herself closer to EJ and I hear Ashlyn gasp. "EJ, why did you never tell me that?" EJ shrugs and gives a weak smile. "Because I found a place in theater and sports and soon the feeling basically faded." Everyone nods and EJ looks at Carlos. "What's your deepest secret dude?" I reach forward, pushing myself out of Ricky's arms to pause the tv before sitting back into Ricky and turning my attention to the group. "I lied to myself for months when I was 13 because deep down I knew I was gay but I I knew I'd have to come out and that was crazy scary to me at the time." Seb rubs Carlos' shoulders and nods in agreement. "Honestly, that's probably my deepest secret too. Like obviously not copy and pasted, but coming out was my biggest fear and being fully out now is still probably one of my greatest fears. There are bad people out there." Seb says gently and Gina frowns and Big Red claps a hand onto Seb's shoulder in support. "Well you two will always have a place with us, no matter what." Ricky says and I nod. "You two are amazing and deserve the entire world. I'm not too sure the world deserves you though." I say and I catch both of their smiles. Ashlyn claps and points to me. "Amen." Kourtney nods in agreement. "Say it louder babe." Carlos covers his mouth to stop from showing us how much our support was affecting him and Seb's blush was noticeable but their smiles only got wider. "Damn, I love y'all but stop before you make me emotional. Your turn Ricky! What's your secret?" Carlos asks and I see Ricky smile before he takes a deep breath. "My parents' divorce made me scared to love Nini." He looks down at me and squeezes my shoulder. "I know you all know that I broke up with her because I couldn't tell her I loved her, but it was always because I was scared of going down the path that my parents went down." I kiss his chest and snuggle my head into him. "Honestly, we figured that because everyone in school was saying that you were a heartbreaker but even before I knew you fully I knew there wasn't a horrible bone in your body." Ashlyn speaks up and Ricky smiles. "Thank god it's the past now." He says and then he kisses my forehead. "Want to go next Nins?" I hesitate before I speak, worrying for a split second about whether or not I'd be judged. I shake the feeling though, knowing I'm surrounded by the most supportive group that I could ask for and I nod. "Sometimes I wish I knew my dad. It just feels like there's something missing sometimes, not having had someone take me to the daddy daughter dances or celebrate Father's Day with. Even to give Ricky a hard time every time I go out." I shrug and feel my face heat. "It's stupid because my moms are my life and I wouldn't want to change a thing, it's just sometimes I wonder about what might've be different." Ricky holds me a little tighter and the group nods, giving me soft, supportive smiles. "That's so valid Nini, you never really talk about that." Kourtney says and I shrug, giving her a smile. "I don't want to seem ungrateful." Ricky kisses my forehead, his lips lingering as Gina speaks up. "You are the definition of selfless. You get to feel this shit." I laugh and rub Ricky's chest as a way to deflect. "I appreciate that." I say quietly. "But what about you? What's your secret?" Gina smiles and looks up at EJ. "I've always been the anywhere but here type of girl. I don't remember the last time I've stayed somewhere and felt like I belong and I guess that's my secret. I've lived a different life for 16 years and now I'm the real me." EJ grins and rubs her shoulders as the group sits back, smiling. "That's our queen." Kourtney says and Gina waves her off with a laugh. "Oh my god no, you're the literal queen. What's your secret?" Kourtney grins. "I got into makeup to feel more comfortable with myself. Now anyone can hate on me and your girl's not gonna feel a thing." The group laughs and cheers and Gina shouts "See! Queen material!" Kourtney pretends to bow and she directs her attention to Red. "K ya'll who's next? You or Ashlyn?" Red looks at Ashlyn like she's the only girl in the world and gives her a little nudge. Ashlyn smiles and shrugs. "Song writing was the only way I could express my feelings until I met you all. And in my eyes, Nini kinda brought this group together and made me feel worthy. I wouldn't be who I am without her, without you all." My eyes go wide and I jump off the couch, wrapping my arms around Ashlyn tightly. "Stop, girlie I love you so much. You're the definition of exceptional." Ashlyn blushes and Red grins. "I can back that up." He says as I move to sit back next to Ricky and Red looks proud. "I wasn't anything until I met you guys. To be a part of something bigger than myself is what my life was missing." Red concludes and Ricky smiles, putting a hand to his heart. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just wound me by saying you weren't anything until you met this group, but we sure as hell are happy you're here." I giggle and kiss Ricky's jaw. "Yeah, who knew playing video games with a curly headed cutie isn't as fulfilling as one would've thought?" Ricky pushes on my shoulder as he laughs before pulling me close to him. "We're a band of idiot misfits and I love the shit out of us." EJ announces and we clap in excitement. "You fucking bet we are!" Carlos says and we burst into laughter.

We never really did return to our movie and before I know it, Ricky's carrying me up the stairs to get ready for bed.

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I'm convinced y'all are the kindest people in the world. Thanks for being so patient on Sunday when there wasn't an update, and even more than that, thank you for your INCREDIBLE response for A Change of Plans. You guys are amazing. ✨