Famous In Football ▹ Jesse Lingard.

▹ [75] Old Habits.

With my hands wrapped around his neck, and his around my waist, we slowed danced for what seemed like an eternity. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the last few seconds of the song. The band was then instructed to play 2 more songs and then call it a night.

Slow dancing together seemed to be a very common thread between us. We somehow always found ourselves slow dancing in each others arms, whether we were seeing other people or not. He was the very first boy that I had ever danced with and I would want nothing more than for him to be the last person I ever dance with. "This feels nice." I whispered against his shoulder.

Even though I couldn't see him smiling, I knew that he was. "It does but it's also very wrong." Jesse chuckled. "Not only are we giving people the wrong impression, but we're also giving ourselves." Jesse said. It's amazing how something so harsh and hurtful could come out of his mouth so sweetly.

There was a brief moment of silence between the two of us as we continued to gently sway side to side.

"Why did it always have to be so complicated with us? Why couldn't we just have a normal love-filled relationship and a happy ending?" I cried out.

"We did have love-filled relationship, Soph. It just happened to be more toxic than anything else...," Jesse trailed off, a few seconds later, he continued what he was saying "and you know that toxic isn't good for anyone." Jesse muttered.

"Yeah. It isn't healthy."

"Exactly."

"But what if we gave it another try?" I proposed, hoping that Jesse would actually say yes. I felt no shame asking Jesse out. My feelings for him run very deep. It always has.

Jesse lifted his head up which made me turn my head to face him. Was he really giving it some thought? Was he actually considering it after everything that we had been through?

"We can't do that, Soph." Jesse said with tears in his eyes.

It was beyond stupid of me to think that Jesse and I could have moved on from our past and started off fresh. He was right when he said that our relationship was toxic. It was in every way. We hurt each other as much as we loved each other. And no matter how hard we tried to live in the present, our past kept on coming back to haunt us.

"Because so much has happened between us." Was all I was able to say.

"It's not about us, Soph. It's about Dele and all the bad press that will circle around if people find out that you're stringing both Dele and I along again." Jesse explained.

My eyes widened when I heard the words that had come out of his mouth. Here we are talking about our potential future together and all he's worried about is the bad press. And how can he even think that I'm stringing them both along? We went on a boat trip together. We spent the night sleeping on that boat. Dele and I haven't even been on a date together as yet.

"How can you even think that I would do that to the two of you? Wow, I can't believe that you actually think that low of me." I said. I tried to fight against the tears but I was so hurt by his words that I wasn't emotionally stable enough to win the battle.

Without even giving Jesse the chance to talk, I immediately stormed out of the dancefloor. I walked straight into the girls bathroom because I knew he wouldn't be able to follow me inside. I opened one of the bathroom stalls and went inside of it before locking it. I stood against the door and broke down into tears.

A few seconds later, I heard footsteps coming into the bathroom. I immediately covered my mouth so that the girl who walked inside the bathroom wouldn't hear me cry. My instincts knew exactly who it was and when I heard her voice, I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath.