The Broken Blonde

Chapter Five

I was approaching the common room when I saw Hermione on the way there, she asked me if I wanted to study with her in the library which I agreed to just after I finished talking with Gen. I made my way inside and saw her sitting alone back to me facing the fire, her leg was shaking and she way biting her nails. I knew she was nervous.

She must have heard me coming in from behind as her head quickly turned facing my direction, she gave me a faint smile in which I brushed off and slowly watched as her face dropped. I stood over her for a few seconds not realising how hard this was going to be, I already felt tears welling up in my eyes the longer I stared at her.

I took a seat next to her and began fidgeting with my robe while looking intensely into the fire to try and stop myself from crying, I felt her hand reach over to mine in attempt to comfort me which I pulled away from not wanting to give in so easily.

"It was you wasn't it Gen. You told everyone" I said not breaking eye contact with the flames.

"I didn't mean to y/n, I swear I would never want to hurt you like this" She pulled my hands making me face her, as soon as she saw my eyes filled with tears hers began to well up just as fast.

"So why did you? You do realise the entire year knows. I'm being accused of not knowing who my own mother is!" Everything that was bottled up inside of me began to spill out.

"I trusted you Gen, you're the only person who actually bothered to talk to me but you've clearly changed your mind now" I snuffled and watched as a tear fell onto the couch, I immediately looked away hating how vulnerable I looked.

"I didn't want for this to happen y/n, I told a couple of friends because I didn't think it would be such a big deal but they must have told others. Believe me if I knew how far this was going to be taken I would have kept my mouth shut." I watched as she waved her hands in front of my face getting choked up on her words,

"Yes maybe you should have done that in the first place, would have prevented much more than what you think" I stood up and wiped my tears trying to pull myself together, that was when I felt her tug my arm.

"I'm sorry y/n, I hate seeing you like this." I turned to look at her, I couldn't believe what she just said.

"If you hated seeing me like this then why do you completely ignore me? You can't possibly expect me to forgive you!" I felt myself getting increasingly more hot headed and knew I had to leave before I managed to lash out.

I pulled my arm away from her grip and picked up my books leaving her to sit alone on the couch, I took one last look at her knowing that it may very well be the last time I ever speak to her. She held her head in her hands shaking it in regret. Though she completely wrecked my plans for my 6th year, I couldn't help but feel hurt from losing her.

I stormed down the corridors completely forgetting about my plans with Hermione, as I passed the library I managed to catch a glimpse of her sitting on the back table her head in a book. She mustn't have heard me coming as when I tapped her on the back she got a sudden fright.

She looked up at me concerned and asked me if I was okay, I caught a glimpse of myself in the near by mirror and saw how red and puffy my eyes looked, She obviously knew I had been crying. I told her about my talk with Gen and what had been going on over the passed few weeks.

I could tell she felt awful about what I've had to go through and asked why I didn't tell her sooner, I told her that I didn't want to cause any bother and found it difficult to trust people, now especially. She comforted me and gave me a hug reassuring me that I'll get through it, she told me how she often gets picked on my Draco since she's a 'mud-blood' and how it used to really affect her.

"Look, I'm muggle born, so I've heard it all. I know its hard, but you need to stand up for yourself. That's the only way to prove you aren't theirs to mess with" I agreed and rubbed my eyes wanting to get some rest.

I thanked her for being there and I took my things making my way back up to my dorm, as I got ready for bed I knew that I should listen to what she said though I knew it was going to be very difficult, being picked on wasn't nice to say the least but losing one of your only friends in the process was even worse.

That night I fell into a deep sleep, though what Gen said to me wasn't what I wanted to hear I still felt like it had at least been addressed. I knew not to constantly be worrying about when and if she'd talk to me that day now being more aware that I shouldn't wait for that one chance of it all working out.