The Broken Blonde

Chapter Eighty- One

We didn't say much after last night, I spent the majority of it awake listening to the screams coming from the other rooms and loud bangs coming from Diagon Alley, I sat in bed huddled up my legs pulled in close to my chest as Draco slept beside me. I haven't noticed how peacefully he slept, didn't once move or make a noise, for a moment I even checked for a pulse to make sure he wasn't dead. Though it was dark the moon shone through the cheap curtains illuminating a portion of his face revealing his tender eyelids that hid his grey eyes like the fog concealed the moon. His deep set under eyes made it look as if he craved his well-deserved slumber but there was never a day were I saw him without them, it was one of the things that I found most attractive.

Even though there was no denying how tired I was I didn't want the possibility of me drifting off which would make me non the less more vulnerable, I felt off. I didn't know if it was the feeling of constantly being on the move and never feeling fully settled or how I had no idea what the future had in store for me and the fact that I knew Draco didn't either scared me the most. We can't stay in the leaky cauldron forever but then again where else would we flee to, I spent the entirety of the night imagining us running away to somewhere with no civilisation, somewhere where we could grow old together, somewhere where we were finally safe.

And at that, the sun began to rise. I fell back surrendering into my body feeding into the lack of sleep letting my eyes gradually close, my mind was blank refusing to let anything disturb me even though thoughts tried to dig their way in my mind fought them away. I finally let my body rest even if it were only for a couple of hours, I knew that even them few hours could make a huge difference.

I awoke to the shuffles around the room and the sound of the door shutting, I leaped out of bed and caught it before it fully shut seeing Draco speed down the hallway, "Where are you going?" I shouted, my voice echoing through the corridor. As he reached the end, I stood patiently at the door just waiting for him to give me some sort of indication to where he was heading to.

"Don't leave the room" He yelled as he stormed around the corner, I stood until he was no longer in my sight and contemplated whether I should go after him but after pondering over it for a moment I thought against it knowing it'd be a higher risk of us getting caught. I felt a slight breeze waft over my bare legs, so I slipped back into bed and waited for what felt like hours until he finally came back. The door flew open and he chucked something on the bed that just missed my arm, I flinched looking back up at him, it was the angriest I've ever seen him.

"You're a fucking joke, sleep with anyone if you had the chance to, wouldn't you?" His face was like something I've never seen before, twisted and filled with nothing but rage, at first, I didn't catch on to what he was saying I was just taken back by how angry he was. Honestly angry was an understatement, he had me trembling before he even spoke. At first, I had no idea to what he was insinuating, I thought he had gone mad, I got zero context to where this was all coming from.

"Have you gone mad, what are you talking-"Thats when I noticed the book he tossed onto the bed, I paused for a moment still trying to wrap my head on what he might of heard. I picked up the book and glanced down at it my name glimmering back at me, it was my diary. This brought up more questions instead of answering them, I thought I left it back at the manor and I hadn't written in since I was at Hogwarts.

"Are you seriously doing this again? Is this some sort of game to you, how many people can I fuck before Draco finds out? You're nothing without me yet you still run around like a naïve little brat" His tone was ignited with rage that flowed just as much in his body making him lash out and slam hard on the wardrobe door, I refused to believe he had in him making my eyes well up just by the sound of it, his words frustrated me even more as I had no indication to where they were coming from. I sat blurry eyed with the book in my lamp not able to do anything but look at him, his eyes sharper than the dagger Bellatrix had to my neck.

"I- I don't" I wasn't able to get my words out before he bolted towards me faster than he could apperate, he snatched the book from my hands and almost tur the pages from how quickly he flicked them. He stopped abruptly and scanned over it, a fire blazing in his eyes while doing so, I couldn't pinpoint what in earth I wrote in there that'd make him so furious. He flipped the book around and flung it in my face pointing aggressively at the ink that stained the page, I was flustered by how close the book was to me not able to read anything.

"Don't you fucking dare act like you don't know when its right in front of you. You wanted me to read it, like making my life even more difficult than it already is don't you?" I picked up the diary he dropped on my lap and read through the nonsense he thought to be real as he ran his hands through his hair almost pulling it out while doing so, but as I read through it, it wasn't nonsense at all. What I read was the exact account of the night I was with Isabella in the Slytherin common room, every last feeling I could recall was written on that page, but the thing was, I never wrote it.

"Draco I never, I didn't-" I had no way of explaining myself without sounding completely mad after all I may not have wrote it but theres no denying that everything the book had written in it was true. How was I supposed to tell him I didn't write it when the evidence is right in front of us both in my handwriting, I even began second guessing myself from how bizarre this all sounded. It took me a few seconds to gather myself from trying to find some sort of explanation, I shuffled forward placing down the book reaching up for his hand but this gesture was a step too far. Instead of turning me down his hand wrapped around mine tight yanking me forward as he squeezed it hard, his rings digging into me.

"First night without me and you go and fuck someone else, the daughter of the man who betrayed my mother. Want me to call in the man at the front desk so you can sleep with him too while I stand here and watch" His eyes shot arrows through me, arrows laced with spite, he had a right to be angry, even though I denied it yesterday I would be too. I sat there speechless, I had nothing left to say I just looked at him my eyes drowning in pity, I hated myself even more than he did at this moment even though that was practically impossible.

"Look who's gone all quiet now, wasn't so quiet when you were getting fucked by Black was you?" He spat letting go of me reaching behind me to retrieve the book, he knocked my shoulder with it while doing so flicking it back open to the page with the detailed description of that night.

"'I moaned her name hard as I finished'" He recited the exact words that were written on the page making my eyes well up with tears of shame, I grabbed the book and flung it across the room wanting to hear no more, but he thought otherwise. Seeing me embarrassed by my own words brought him the slightest bit of satisfaction so he stood their book in hand and read through the entire thing out loud making me relive every last bit of it.

"You can't cry your way out of this one Ceradwin, you're nothing but a slut you know that right. So, do what a slut does best, get on your knees" I fluttered my eyes and paused not knowing if I heard him correctly, I glanced up at him in utter confusion, a single tear falling down my cheek as my eyes slimmed.

"Don't make me repeat myself Y/n" Nope I heard him right, I hesitated not quite knowing what I was waiting for but watched as he grew more impatient by the second. I honestly was scared of what he might do if I didn't, so I did what I was told, I lowered myself off the bed and waited my knees trembling on the cold wooden floor. I looked up at Draco who didnt seem to be any less mad than he was before, he glanced down at me as he unzipped his pants not giving it a second thought.