The Broken Blonde

Chapter Twenty- Seven

It had been a few weeks since the yule ball and not a word has been spoken of it since, they found Theo stranded on the rocks the next morning. Fortunately, they managed to keep him alive yet he's looking at long term injuries, though I felt a little remorse I spent more time worrying about if he'd remember what happened that night. To my relief he knocked his head on a rock while falling and found it extremely difficult to recall the events leading up to it and later I was informed that he couldn't remember half of the students in Hogwarts, me being one of them.

Though I know it sounds dreadful to say but I had no sympathy towards that man and if Draco wasn't to find me in that moment, I couldn't be sure about what he intended to do to me that night. I tried my best to wipe that memory out of my mind completely yet every time I placed my head on my pillow to sleep that would be the first thing I would think off.

I saw Draco in the hallways often, but we didn't even give each other a glimpse knowing that if we did the events of that night would replay in both of our heads. Eventually I blocked it out but there was one part that I couldn't seem to stop thinking about. The memory of his hand caressing my cheek and wiping away my tears as I locked eyes with him and his gaze made me feel something I've never felt before.

At first I brushed it off as a mixture of shock, panic and nerves but out of all my years of having panic attacks they've never felt like that before. As the days went on that was all I could think about, Id try and recreate the feeling I got that night but no matter how many times I tried it was never the same.

I sat in bed one night and had an urge to look over what I've written in my diary, I reminisced on a few moments I had forgotten about and was about to close it until I stumbled upon a small paragraph written about a month ago. I mentioned a funny feeling I got the night when Draco caught me following him in the hallways and again in common room and once again in the forbidden forest.

That was when I grasped that Id only ever get this feeling around him. I slowly began to realise that the feeling that I originally thought was nerves and panic was that of butterflies, I scolded myself when I had to accept the fact that I actually had feelings for him. I had no idea why this had happened since all hes done is make my life increasingly more difficult but a part of me appreciated it. It made me more aware on how much I was missing out on.

I needed to confirm if that feeling was because of him but I didn't have a clue on how to approach it. I knew he'd most likely push me away immediately since he's told me that I'm nothing more than a burden in his life so there was no hope in me even attempting to act upon it.

As I was reading my book in the great hall, I caught a glimpse of what looked like Harry talking to Katie Bell, it intrigued me as I knew she was the girl who was struck by the hexed necklace. I placed the book down and focused on trying to work out what they were saying. That was when my eyes shifted to someone frantically walking through the centre of the hall coming to a swift pause the minute they saw Katie. At first, I couldn't really make out who it was since they didn't seem to have on their robe but the more, I squinted I managed to make out their light blonde hair, Draco.

The expression he had sent shivers down my spine as he looked as if he saw a ghost. His face dropped the moment he laid eyes on her and he just stood in complete shock, I seemed to be one of the only people who noticed since everyone else was deep into conversation. Next minute I watched as he broke his glare and turned back storming off through the huge doors leaving Harry and Katie in a state of confusion.

Seeing him like that shifted something in me and before I knew it I fled and followed after him wanting to know what was going on. He was walking incredibly fast making me do a faint run to actually manage to catch up to him. He was oblivious to the fact I was trailing him, and I watched as he repetitively fidgeted with his tie as if it was too tight.

He reached the boys lavatory and I watched as he made his way towards the sink, hands gripping the sides tightly. I didn't want to make myself known yet, so I hid just behind one of the stalls and peered around the corner to see him. He had his head down at first but then quickly reached for the bottom of his jumper almost tearing it off of him as if it was some sort of compression device.

I heard his heavy breathing from where I was standing which concerned me since I knew it wasn't just anger, he was feeling. From personal experience I concluded he was having a panic attack and I felt like it was my turn to return the favour. His head fell down towards the sink and he splashed is face with water while I heard faint whimpers underneath the sound of the tap running. The sound of his cries matched up to that of the sound I heard in the room of requirement, hearing him cry hurt me and I wanted nothing more than to hold him. That was when I couldn't bare seeing him like that anymore.